Waiting For You
by The twenty third of november
Summary: A Doctor Who/Whouffle AU. The Doctor is head chef and Clara is the new waitress at Restaurant TARDIS. The Doctor becomes intrigued by the new girl and finds himself wanting to know more about her. Within no time the pair both become smitten with each other, but could the Doctor's mysterious past keep Clara waiting too long?
1. The New Girl

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 1: The New Girl**

_A Doctor Who/Whouffle AU where the Doctor is head chef and Clara is the new waitress at Restaurant TARDIS. Many other past companions also feature as staff in the story._

* * *

"This will be your peg to leave your coat and bag…and here is your apron." The tall woman instructed, leading Clara Oswald through the back corridor of _Restaurant TARDIS_. She gestured towards a small vacant hook on a wall of many and handed the petite woman a white apron. "Your apron must be worn at all times whilst on duty."

The woman then led Clara into a room towards the end of the corridor with a plaque saying 'Manager's Office' on the door. She picked up a small notebook and pencil off the large desk which occupied most of the tiny room and handed them to Clara. "These are for taking orders from the customers, as you have probably guessed."

Clara nodded wearily and glanced around the room. "Sorry, what is your name again?"

"Vastra. I am the manager here at _Restaurant TARDIS_ and Jenny, who you will probably meet later, is deputy manager."

Clara nodded again. "So, will I get some induction training? Sorry, it's just I've never been a waitress before. The last couple of years I've been a nanny."

"Yes, of course." Vastra eyed Clara up and down making her feel self-conscious. "Wait here, I will go and fetch your supervisor. She will teach you about your jobs duties."

Vastra left the room promptly, leaving Clara to fall back against the desk and sigh. It was her first day at her new job at _Restaurant TARDIS,_ a modern, 3 star Restaurant near the centre of London. Once George Maitland had told Clara they would no longer be requiring her as a nanny, she had wanted to get out of the way as fast as possible. George had told her she was welcome live there as long as she liked, but Clara felt like she was outliving her stay. This meant the first thing she did was look for a small, comfortable flat to live in and a nearby job. However, due to the low amount of places available, the best job she had been able to find at short notice was being a waitress at _Restaurant TARDIS_. Clara guessed this would have to do whilst she searched for a better paid job which she preferred.

She decided to put on the apron over her skirt and place the notebook and pencil in the front pocket. Vastra then entered the room again with a red haired woman following close behind her.

"Clara Oswald, this is Donna Noble."

Donna stepped forward and put on a small smile. "Yeah, hi."

Vastra raised her eyebrows disapprovingly at Donna's informality. "Donna, can you please take Clara into the kitchen and start her waiting some tables? You'll be looking after her until she finds her feet."

Donna led Clara out of the manager's office and once the door closed let out a large groan. "God, sorry about her. She takes everything so seriously."

Clara chuckled and followed Donna into the kitchen. It was a very large room full of counters and big ovens with food covering all the surfaces. There were 4 chefs darting around quickly preparing food and waiters and waitresses skipping between them. Most were carrying dishes in and out of 2 swinging doors on the other side of the room.

There was a bit of shouting between chefs for orders and the sound of sizzling food echoed through the kitchen. Donna led Clara to the front of the kitchen and began to sort through orders. "This is the busiest I've seen the place in a while. But I guess it's always busy on Saturday afternoons."

Clara watched Donna grunt again as she helped her carry a pile of dirty dishes to the dishwasher.

"Donna, do you like your job here?" Clara asked curiously.

"Nah, I much preferred the job I had before this one. I got fired you see."

"Where did you work?"

"I was a temp…in Chiswick!"

-x-

Clara had taken the late bus back to her flat that night absolutely exhausted. Donna was right, Saturday's were busy…and they got even busier when it got to the evening. Clara had found that she quite liked Donna, even though she was over 10 years older, the pair got on quite well.

The next morning Clara made her way to _Restaurant TARDIS_ for her Sunday morning shift. When she arrived, she was pleased to see that the place was pretty much dead with no customers yet, so went into the kitchen to see if anyone was around. From the corner of her eye she saw two chefs at the other side of the room leant over the breakfast menu, discussing a dish. In front of her was another waitress she hadn't seen the night before, leant back against the counter on her mobile phone texting.

Clara went up to the girl and smiled. "Hey, I'm Clara. I'm new here, started yesterday."

The girl put her mobile into her pocket and smiled back. Like Donna, the girl had long Red hair and fair skin, but looked about the same age as Clara. However, the girl was considerably taller and quite thin. "Hello, I'm Amy. Amy Pond." She spoke with a strong Scottish accent and Clara was relieved to hear her friendly tone.

"I didn't see you last night." Clara commented.

"Oh right, yesterday was my day off. I try to avoid Saturday's, they're a nightmare."

Clara agreed. "So who else works here? Donna didn't have a chance to explain to me yesterday."

"Well, I'm guessing you've met Vastra. She's the manager here. Then there's Jenny who's deputy."

"Haven't met her yet. What's she like?"

"Oh, Jenny's lovely. Not quite as nerving as her wife."

"Wait, Vastra and Jenny are married?"

"Yup. Then there are the chefs." Amy gestured towards the 2 men that were still discussing the breakfast menu inaudibly on the other side of the kitchen. "The one with the dark floppy hair and the bowtie is the Doctor. He's head chef."

Clara studied the tall man carefully. He was wearing a normal white chef's shirt with a black bowtie which looked slightly out of place. She also noticed his large chin and flailing arm movements as he explained something to the man beside him. Despite all that, she guessed he was kind of cute.

"The Doctor?" Clara asked quizzically.

"His real name is John Smith, but everybody calls him the Doctor. It's one of those nicknames which just kind of…stuck. He's one of my best mates; I've known him for ages." Amy explained. "Then the other guy is called Rory…"

Clara noticed how differently Amy looked at the other chef. "Are you and Rory…?"

"No. Well… I don't know. We flirt all the time but I'm still waiting for him to make a move. I'm not that sure if he likes me. Wait, is it obvious I like him?"

Clara shrugged awkwardly. "A little."

Amy sighed. "Men hey? Anyway, there are 2 other chefs. One's Jack Harkness, but he likes to be called 'Captain Jack'. Complete flirt, he'll be onto you as soon as he gets the chance…watch out for him. The other is Martha Jones. She's nice, but keeps herself to herself."

"And the waiters?"

"Hmm…there's me, I'm here most days. Then Donna who's the supervisor….she's supposed to be here now actually, but she's usually late. There's Strax, the short bald one, he's a little weird. Mickey, he's nice. Actually, I think he might be dating Martha. Then there's Sarah Jane, but she's only part time. Adam works here sometimes, but he's a bit annoying and unreliable. Oh, and there's Rose Tyler…she's only part time too. Spends most her time running off with her boyfriend by the sounds of things…but I don't know her that well. And lastly Jackie Tyler, the cleaner. She's Rose's Mum. I think that's it…oh and of course you, the new addition to team TARDIS."

The girls both chuckled before turning round and seeing Donna storm into the room absolutely soaking wet. Clara looked out the window puzzled to see it was only drizzling slightly. "What happened?!"

Donna groaned. "You would not believe the morning I'm havin'! I need a strong cup of coffee!"

Clara went to make her a coffee whilst Amy rolled her eyes and picked up a pile of menus. "Well, looks like I'm doing all the work myself this morning..."

-x-

It was a slow morning, with the restaurant only getting a couple of customers. The Doctor and Rory spent most of the time in the kitchen my themselves, preparing full English breakfasts and waffles. Once they ran out of things to do, the Doctor picked up the breakfast menu again and flapped it in front of Rory's eyes.

"No Doctor, we're not discussing this again!"

"Oh but Rory! A Jammie Dodger milkshake would be perfect on the breakfast menu! Plus I'm head chef, so I should decide what goes on their."

"But Jack, Martha and I vote against it, making it 3 against one."

The Doctor grumbled and threw the menu back onto the work surface. "You're boring."

"I'm a mature adult, deal with it."

Suddenly, Clara walked into the kitchen carrying a large stack of plates, wobbling slightly. "Woah, a little help please?!"

The Doctor dashed over and took the majority of the plates from her and took them to the dishwasher.

"Thanks, I think I'm a little small to be carrying so much." She replied. Before the Doctor could say anything, Clara spun on her heel and went back into the restaurant to help clear up, leaving the Doctor to stack the dishwasher.

"Who's the new girl?" The Doctor queried, still quite surprised that this random girl had thrown a load of plates on him.

"Oh, that's Clara...Oswald, I think it was. Donna told me about her last night, she's a new waitress here. I didn't see her yesterday either, probably because it was so busy."

The Doctor nodded and finished loading the dishwasher.

"Anyway, you were a bit eager there to help her out then, weren't you?" Rory teased.

"I was not! I was just being helpful..."

"Right...it's not because she's pretty then?"

"That had nothing to do with it!"

"So you admit she _is_ pretty?"

"What are you trying to do here Nose?"

Rory sighed irritably at his nickname. "I'm just saying, the way you looked at her then...I haven't seen you look at someone like that since...you know."

The Doctor adjusted his bowtie anxiously. "I've only just met her!"

"But you fancy her, don't you?"

"What?! No...I...oh shut up!"

* * *

*A/N: Chapter 2 coming soon, please leave a review of what you thought of the first chapter!*


	2. Playing Matchmaker

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 2: Playing Matchmaker**

* * *

The next morning was Monday, and that was even quieter than the day before. Being the new girl, Clara wanted to make a good impression so turned up early every day. She had noticed however, that the restaurant wasn't that strictly run and the managers hardly ever showed up. The staff seemed to walk in and out as they liked but everything still ran smoothly.

Clara walked into the kitchen, tying on her apron as she went to see that the place was completely empty. Or so she thought to begin with…. Clara walked to the other side of the kitchen and peered through the swinging doors into the restaurant to see if there was anybody there. But there was no one. It was then she heard slight murmuring from the corner of the kitchen. She turned round to see a man with messy dark hair crotched on the floor leaning into the fridge, doing a stock take. The Doctor.

Clara slowly walked up to him, unsure of what to say as she had only exchanged a sentence in total with the man so far. The Doctor however, seemed to be deep in concentration, examining the expiry date on some milk. So much so, he didn't notice the petite brunette come up beside him.

"Do you need any help with that?" Clara asked.

The Doctor was so shocked to see her he jumped up and hit his head on the inside of the fridge in surprise. "Ouch!" He exclaimed, standing up quickly and throwing his paper work on the counter so he could hold his throbbing head.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! Are you okay?!" Clara exclaimed, pushing his hands away from his head so she could examine the injury. The Doctor froze as he felt their hands touch, astonished slightly that she seemed to have completely disregarded personal space.

Clara got onto her tip toes so she could see the wound more clearly. "Oh no, it's bleeding. Wait here, I'll go and fetch the first aid kit-"

"No…no don't. I'm okay. I'm fine, sorry. I'm slightly jumpy and rather clumsy. I was in my own little world there…"

Clara smiled and took her hand off his forehead. "You have blood running down your face. I'm getting the first aid kit."

Before the Doctor had time to argue, Clara ran to the back corridor to fetch the first aid kit that was hung on the wall and brought it back into the kitchen. The Doctor was now standing by the sink, splashing cool water onto his face. Clara pulled up a stool and made him sit on it, before opening the kit and getting some cotton wool out to hold to his head.

"Clara, really, you don't have to-"

But she was already cleaning the cut on his forehead. "What the hell is in the top of that fridge? You hit your head on something really sharp."

"I think the plastic panel on the light has come loose. Silly of me, I shouldn't have stuck my head in there really."

"Do you feel dizzy?"

"What?"

"Do you feel dizzy?" Clara repeated, giving the cotton wool to him so she could search around in the first aid kit again. "You hit your head quite hard. Do you feel okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." The Doctor replied, watching as she pulled a large band aid out of the box. "Did you used to be a nurse or something?"

"I was a nanny for 2 children. Well, a teenage girl and an eleven year old boy. He was always running around the house bumping into things. I did my fair share of mending wounds."

"Are you putting a plaster on my head?!"

"Yes. It isn't a deep cut, thank god, which means I don't have to take you to A&E. But you'll have wear this until the bleeding stops. Don't worry, your fringe will hide it."

"But I'll look silly!"

Clara chuckled and nodded towards his black bowtie. "No more then you already do."

The Doctor opened his mouth with a small gasp as she fixed the band aid to his head. "There you are, good as new." She closed the first aid kit and smiled at him again. "Sorry for creeping up on you…Promise I'll be loader next time."

The Doctor stood up and straightened his bowtie anxiously before looking at her properly for the first time. He noticed that she _was_ pretty…very pretty. Her big brown eyes looked slightly concerned, and he couldn't help but trace every detail of her face with his eyes, right down to her lips. "No, it was my fault. Thank you for fixing me up, you didn't have to…"

They seemed to have gone rather quiet, and the Doctor found himself looking right into her eyes. He didn't quite know what to think of this girl that he had only vaguely known for a day, but in that moment he did find himself liking her…a lot.

Suddenly, Donna walked into the kitchen playing with her hair and muttering something about her alarm clock. Clara broke the eye contact awkwardly and called over to her new friend. "Morning Donna."

"Hi Clara."

Clara glanced back at the Doctor before walking away and smirked. "You better get to work then, chef boy."

The Doctor watched as she wandered across the kitchen and began having a conversation with Donna about table arrangements. There did seem to be something quite special about Clara Oswald.

-x-

"So what's new, Raggedy man?" Amy asked. The two of them were in the staff room, drinking cups of coffee. The Doctor was just about to start his extra evening shift and Clara had gone home after finishing her day shift. Amy however had just arrived, but had already decided to take a break.

"Not a lot."

"Really?" Amy raised her eyebrows as him.

"What?"

She gestured with her cup towards the plaster on his forehead which was peeping from underneath his fringe. "How did you manage to do that you clumsy fool?"

The Doctor scowled at his best friend. "I hit my head on the fridge."

"And how were you stupid enough to do that?"

"Clara made me jump."

Amy raised her eyebrows again. "Clara Oswald? Not exactly scary is she?"

"Not but…" The Doctor sighed. "It was an accident."

"Did she fix your boo-boo then?" Amy mocked.

"Yes, she did actually."

"Rory told me you like her."

"What?! I do not! He's just making stuff up!"

"Doctor, you're acting like a six year old."

"I've only just met her!"

"It's okay, I'll find out if she likes you too. She's a nice girl."

"You will do no such thing!"

"Calm down. You are allowed to find the girl attractive you know!"

"Where did Rory get this idea that I find her attractive anyway?"

"He said you were staring at her…and Donna said you have been all morning, so you might as well admit it."

The Doctor sighed and rubbed his temple with his free hand in frustration. "I need to start my shift."

Amy chuckled as she watched him avoid the question and leave the room. Why was she taking such an interest? Amy would do anything to see her best friend a little bit happier again…

-x-

The next day Clara was working the evening shift so was glad to have a lie in. When she got into work, Donna was having a break in the staff room, Martha, Rose and Sarah Jane were just leaving and Strax and Mickey seemed to be having a debate over a football match as they carried plates in and out of the kitchen. Clara noticed Amy was in the restaurant taking orders and The Doctor and Rory were hard at work cooking.

The Doctor noticed Clara come in and looked up at her shyly.

Clara saw him acknowledge her and decided to greet him. "Hey Doctor, how's the head?" she called.

He grinned at her happily. "Oh, yes, it's much better, thank you."

Clara smiled back and began carrying plates through to the restaurant. Rory smirked and nudged the Doctor. "You can stop smiling now."

The Doctor suddenly realised he was still beaming at the doors and frowned at Rory. "Oh shut up!"

Later on, Amy dragged Clara into the staffroom for their break.

"You all seem to take an awful lot of breaks here." Clara commented.

Amy chuckled. "We might as well. Vastra and Jenny spend most of their time financing in that little office and pay no attention to us."

Clara raised her eyebrows and took a sip off the coffee she had just made.

"So, I've noticed you and the Doctor have become quite friendly." Amy said.

"Have we?"

"You seem to spend a lot of time smiling at each other."

Clara shrugged. "Is that bad?"

"No, I think it's great."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the Doctor really likes you."

Clara gave her a funny look. "He hardly knows a thing about me."

"Then you should get to know each other better."

"Why?"

Amy sighed. "You're as bad as each other."

Clara raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "Are you saying that you think I should flirt with him more?"

"Do you think he's attractive?"

Clara smirked. "Guess so, bit of a chin on him mind. Wait…are you playing matchmaker?"

Amy chuckled. "Yes, I suppose I am."

"Alright then. Maybe I'll spark up a conversation with the Doctor if you ask Rory out on a date."

"What?!"

"Oh come on. It's obvious he really likes you…he's just too shy to make the first move. I think he thinks that you're too good for him."

"Are you sure he likes me?"

"It's obvious. It sticks out…like a big chin."

Amy held out her hand and Clara shook it. "Miss Oswald, you've got yourself a deal."

* * *

*A/N: I promise this will start getting more fluffy and flirty soon! Please leave a review and tell me what you think!*


	3. It's A Date

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 3: It's A Date**

* * *

Clara had been told that Wednesday mid-week was a relatively slow day so it was only her and Donna waitressing for the morning shift. Jackie Tyler was in doing the cleaning and the Doctor was the other side of the kitchen reorganising the cooking utensils. They had been in for an hour so far and they were yet to see any customers.

Clara found herself chatting vaguely to Donna and Jackie. Jackie was knelt the floor tossing dirty oven mitts and tea towels into the washing machine whilst Clara and Donna were stood next to her, drinking even more of the staff's free coffee.

"I tell you, Rose is an absolute nightmare." Jackie moaned. "She spends half her time off with her boyfriend then turns up back at our place at god knows what time in the morning. I've told Pete several times it's about time she moved out. The girl is twenty-five and she still lives at home with her parents."

"You shouldn't put up with that." Donna agreed.

"I know. Clara, how old are you?" Jackie asked.

"Twenty-four." Clara replied awkwardly, feeling slightly out of place at what appeared to be a mother's meeting.

"And you live on your own, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"See? Our Rose should be out getting her own flat like Clara. I've had enough of her sponging off of us. She even has a better job than I do!"

The two elder women then started talking about another subject Clara wasn't familiar with, so she walked to the staffroom and cleaned her now empty coffee mug before reappearing in the kitchen. Clara decided, as the Doctor was alone, this was a good time to start on her half of the deal with Amy, so walked up to the Doctor who was laying out knives in size order across the room from Donna and Jackie.

"I see you've had a productive morning." Clara joked as she observed how tidy his work surface now was. She decided this would be a good conversation starter as she didn't know much about the man so far.

He looked up at her, sightly surprised that Clara had come over to start a conversation with him. But to his annoyance, he couldn't help but feel happy that she had. "Not exactly a lot to do around here on days like this." The Doctor replied truthfully, turning to face her. He couldn't help but notice how pretty her hair looked today and how her eyes sparkled, before internally scolding himself for gazing at her.

He lifted up his fringe to show what now was only a tiny cut on the top of his forehead, due to Monday's fridge incident. "Look, almost all gone!"

The fact he seemed so proud at how fast his skin was repairing itself caused Clara to giggle. "Not got into any more accidents in the past few days then?"

The Doctor rubbed his hands together thoughtfully. "Ah...well, actually…yesterday in my flat I managed to burn my fingers on a blown light bulb. Silly of me, should have switched the light off before I touched it…"

Clara rolled her eyes and laughed again. He did seem to have a funny habit of being absent-minded. "For someone who's nicknamed 'The Doctor' you aren't that great at taking care of yourself, are you?"

"How did you know that's my nickname?" The Doctor shot back at her mockery.

"Amy told me."

The Doctor sighed, he had a feeling that Amy had gone behind his back and had a conversation with Clara when he had specifically told her not to. "What else has she told you?"

"Nothing, we've just been having a bit of girl talk."

"About me?" The Doctor asked nervously.

Clara raised her eyebrows, amused. "And why would you presume 'girl talk' means we're talking about you?"

"No…I…that's not…I didn't mean…" The Doctor stuttered, partly shocked that a girl he didn't know that well was challenging him in such a way.

Clara smirked. "Don't think so highly of yourself, chin boy."

"Chin boy? What's wrong with my chin?!" The Doctor gasped, stroking his broad jawline with his hand self-consciously.

"Well, it seems to be a more accurate nickname for you then 'The Doctor' doesn't it?"

The Doctor smiled slightly. Clara was quite funny in a teasing way. _Wait, was she being flirty?_

"So, what else are you up to in your hectic shift at work today?" Clara joshed.

"Jack is supposed to be here now actually, but knowing him he probably won't be in until lunchtime. So…not a lot really. Nothing to cook if we have no customers. What else does a chef have to do if there is no one to cook for?"

"I'm having the same problem, meaning I have no one to wait on. Obviously not cooking, I'm a rubbish cook." Clara sighed.

"I'm sure you're not, you looked after two kids didn't you say? You must have cooked for them a lot?"

"They mostly ate pizza and chicken nuggets, not exactly this type of cuisine." Clara said, gesturing towards a menu that was lying on his neatly arranged kitchen counter.

The Doctor smiled, admittedly happy that the teasing had stopped and they were finally having a normal conversation. "What do you enjoy cooking?"

"Souffles. But they always turn out wrong. I have this special recipe…it was my Mum's. She could always make them perfect, but mine never seem to go right. I wish she was still here. Then maybe she could help me."

The Doctor realised her Mother must have died by the sudden sadness in Clara's voice. He stroked her arm comfortingly as she looked down at her feet. He didn't know Clara that well, but by the look in her eyes, he decided that he really didn't like seeing her sad. "Hey, I make a mean soufflé…probably not as good as your Mum's, but maybe I could help you perfect it?"

Clara looked up at him and grinned. "Really?"

"Why not?" The Doctor suddenly felt a surge of confidence at seeing her face light up and look him warmly in the eyes. "Why don't you come over to mine on Friday after work? We could make one together."

Clara bit her lip, trying to suppress the large smile that was growing on her lips. "Alright chin boy, it's a date."

Before the Doctor could say any more, Clara had turned and walked across the room to help Donna, as the first customers of the day had just arrived in the restaurant.

It then hit the Doctor like a tonne of bricks. He had just accidentally asked Clara Oswald on a date...and she had _actually accepted_.

He was never going to hear the end of this from Amy and Rory.

-x-

"I knew you liked her! I knew it!" Amy exclaimed as she walked home with the Doctor after they had finished there shift the next day. Amy lives in the same block of flats as the Doctor, in the apartment underneath his, about 5 minutes walk away from the restaurant.

"It's not a date! I'm just helping her make a soufflé!" The Doctor insisted, flapping about his arms in front of him to emphasise this.

"You asked her to come round to your _flat._ Apart from Rory and I, you never invite anybody round to your place…_ever_."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I'm your best mate and I know everything about you, silly."

The Doctor's face morphed into a frown. He hated the fact that Amy always seemed to know so much about him. "No you don't. What's my favourite colour?"

"Deep blue."

The Doctor muttered irritably."Urg, bad example. What's my favourite meal?"

"Fish fingers and custard, with anything Jammie Dodger related a close second." Amy replied smugly.

_Damn, she was good at this_. "Okay, look, those are easy questions...hmm...ah-ha! How often do I work out?"

Amy burst into fits of laughter earning an embarrassed pout from the Doctor. After what appeared to be several minutes of chuckling, she finally answered his question. "Never!"

"Yes I do!" The Doctor insisted. "Well….okay…only sometimes. If the weathers nice…Anyway, what's my favourite-"

"Okay Doctor, we could do this all day." Amy interrupted. "The point is…_you_ invited someone on a date. I'm proud of you."

The Doctor's face dropped and his voice turned serious. "It's not a date. I'm not ready for dates yet." Even though he knew he did want to go on a date with Clara, there was a corner of his mind which was extremely anxious about the whole thing.

"It's been 2 years."

"So? Amy, I told you. I'm not ready."

"I thought you said you've gotten over her?"

"I have. It's just…I don't know. I'm scared. If that ever happened to me again...I wouldn't be able to cope."

The Doctor's voice became shaky so Amy sighed and put her arm around his shoulder. She knew that the Doctor was still upset over what happened, but she also knew that this would be good for him. This could make him happy again. "I know, I understand. But I think you should give this a go."

"But what if something bad happens? And what if I don't want to?" The Doctor whined, causing Amy to give him an exasperated glare.

"I think we both know that you do secretly want to go on a date with Clara. Nothing bad will happen, it's _just_ a date!"

The Doctor looked down at his feet timidly, so Amy removed her arm from his shoulder with another sigh before giving in. "Okay, fine. Don't look at it as a date…just getting to know each other. Relax and enjoy it, okay?"

The Doctor looked up at Amy and nodded. "Okay."

"Good."

"On the topic of dates, didn't you ask Rory on a date today?"

"Yup."

"What happened?" The Doctor's mood was instantly lifted, seeing as the tables had turned in his favour.

"He tripped over his shoelace and dropped several pans he was holding on the floor."

The Doctor smirked as the image of a ditzy, stumbling Rory came to mind. "And after that?"

"He said yes."

The Doctor let out a comical sigh of relief. "Oh, that's good. I didn't want to say anything beforehand, but I'm glad one of you has finally asked the other out. I couldn't bare hanging out with you both when you're flirting all the time for much longer. It can be very awkward."

Amy gasped, nudging him in the arm. "We do not flirt all the time!"

"Yes, you do!"

They both laughed as they reached the door to their apartment block. Amy began to walk further down the corridor to her flat as the Doctor headed up the stairs to his. "Goodnight, Pond."

"See you tomorrow, Raggedy man."

* * *

*A/N: Sorry this was only a short chapter, the next one will be longer and fluffier :3 You may have noticed that I'm trying to update this fic every other day so you don't have too wait too long for the next chapter. Unfortunately, when I'd just finished writing this chapter I accidentally deleted half of it and it didn't save so I had to type it all over again :( got there in the end though ;)

**Thank you so much for the follows, favs and reviews so far! The reviews have been so nice so if you haven't left one yet please let me know what you think of the story! If you have left one, can you tell me what you think of the new chapters? I love getting your continued support :)**

If you want to ask anything about the story then feel free to send me a PM :)

Thanks for reading :)*


	4. A Messy Souffle

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 4: A Messy Soufflé **

* * *

Clara turned up at work on Friday morning to see the Doctor talking to Jack in the corner of the kitchen. Nobody else appeared to be in, so she walked up to them and began conversation.

"Morning." She greeted with a smile on her face.

"Hello, Clara." The Doctor grinned back happily.

Before either of them could say anything more, Jack stepped forward and took Clara's hand, placing a kiss on it. "Miss Oswald, I'm Captain Jack Harkness. What I've been wondering is, how come you've been working here for almost a week now and neither of us have been properly acquainted?"

The Doctor noticed Clara's hand was still firmly in Jack's grasp and couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. "You both were supposed to be working the same shift on Wednesday, but if I remember rightly you called in 'sick'."

Clara moved her hand out of Jack's sheepishly and stepped back.

"Ah, that I did Doctor. Stupid of me, I missed working a shift with this beautiful lady."

Jack winked at Clara and she smirked. "Aren't you the charmer?"

"Aren't I just?"

The Doctor couldn't help but find himself a bit annoyed at Jack's swooning. "Jack!"

"What?"

Clara raised her eyebrows teasingly. "Oh, don't worry chin boy. You'll be able to do your share of flirting on our date tonight."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "It's not a-"

"The Doctor is going on a date?!" Jack exclaimed, looking from Clara and back to the scruffy man who was now pouting slightly. "Wow Doc, that's a surprise!"

"How so?" Clara asked.

"He's just being annoying." The Doctor protested. "And it's not a-"

"Hello boys and girls!"

The three of them spun around to see Amy walking towards them, fixing her apron. "How are we all this morning?"

"So much better now that you're here." Jack replied.

Amy rolled her eyes.

"Is he always like this?" Clara asked.

"Yup. Anyway, are you two looking forward to your date tonight?"

"It's not a-" The Doctor started, but was suddenly interrupted again.

"Shouldn't you four be getting to work instead of standing around gossiping?" They looked towards the doorway to see Vastra with her hands on her hips. "We've got a restaurant that needs running, and Friday's are one of our busiest. Now off you go, get to work."

Vastra then went back to her office leaving the four of them alone in the kitchen.

"I feel like a naughty school kid." Clara commented, making them all laugh. Amy and Jack then wandered over to their work stations but Clara paused to talk to the Doctor. "I'll meet you by the front door at four-thirty."

The Doctor agreed. "Don't be late."

-x-

After a tiring day shift, the Doctor was more than looking forward to his evening with Clara. Luckily, Martha came in early and took over from him in the kitchen so that he was waiting by the door for Clara at 4:15. But unfortunately for them both, Adam who was taking over Clara's shift was late, so the Doctor ended up waiting a lot longer than he anticipated.

Clara finally turned up over half an hour later looking slightly miffed about the whole situation. "Sorry I'm late, do you think Adam has ever even considered turning up to work on time?"

The Doctor smirked and held open the door for Clara before stepping through himself. "Yeah, Adam can be very unreliable."

"You can say that again. How far is it to your place?"

"Only 5 minutes." The Doctor assured her. "The walk's not too long."

They spent the rest of the way chatting about their shifts at work that day, until they finally reached the Doctor's apartment block. He led her up the staircase to the second floor before opening his big blue front door to his flat. To Clara's surprise his place was quite modern, with leather sofas in the living room and a very flashy metallic looking kitchen. She noticed his flat was considerably bigger then hers and a lot better decorated, not that she'd had much time to decorate her new flat yet.

"Make yourself at home." The Doctor said as he carried the mail he'd collected from his mailbox on the way up to his flat and took it into the kitchen area.

"Wow, this place is amazing, the rent must be extortionate!" Clara commented as she walked across the living room, studying trinket's the Doctor had sitting on windowsills and various photo frames he had dotted around the room. She noticed how they were mostly all of the Doctor with Amy and Rory, making funny faces at the camera.

"It's okay, I do alright being head chef and all." The Doctor replied as he began skipping through his letters which were mostly bills and other documents.

Clara nodded. "So how long have you known Amy and Rory? You all seem to be pretty close."

"A while…6 years now? I met them both when I first moved into the city after I'd just finished uni. They were both childhood friends. I'm closest with Amy, she lives downstairs. I got to know Rory through her. It's funny how we all ended up working at _Restaurant TARDIS_ really…new placements just kept opening up." The Doctor frowned when he saw a letter amongst his mail with handwriting on the front he couldn't identify. He was about to open it when he was distracted by Clara who was now studying his kitchen.

"Did you always want to be a chef?" She asked curiously.

"Pretty much, as a kid I always loved cooking things…I knew I'd end up as a chef one day. What about you? What did you want to be?"

Clara sighed and walked over to the counter which the Doctor was leant against. "I wanted to be a teacher…I still do. But once I finished uni I went straight into nannying. I have no experience or teacher training what-so-ever, which means I'm currently stuck as a waitress until I find something where I can earn enough money to pay the bills."

The Doctor looked at her confusedly. "Why did you become a nanny if it interfered so much with your career plans?"

"The kids, Angie and Artie, their Mum died as soon as I finished uni. They're family friends you see, there Mum was best friends with mine when she was alive. I came back to stay with them for a week, but in that week she died. George, their Dad, has to go away on business a lot and needed someone to look after them both. I felt as if it was my duty to look after them whilst they were grieving. I knew what they were going through. My friends at the time told me I was stupid for taking a break whilst pursuing my career. But I don't know, it just felt…like the right thing to do."

The Doctor gave her a smile. "You know what? I don't think it was stupid. I think it was a lovely thing to do for the family. Actually, I wish I was more like you in a way…being so caring and not running out on the ones that you love."

Clara blushed. "It was nothing really. But anyway, let's get on and cook this soufflé you promised me you're _so good_ at making. I'm expecting high standards with you being chef and all, chin boy."

The Doctor gasped. "Wait, I never said I was good…oh wait…yes I did…never mind." Clara chuckled. "And stop calling me chin boy! There's nothing wrong with my chin!"

Clara laughed again before she started to search for the ingredients in his kitchen cupboards. "Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll tell you a secret." She teased.

"What?" The Doctor asked, somewhat intrigued, as he helped her find the ingredients.

"The reason I call you chin boy, it's because I think your chin makes you look cute."

The Doctor almost dropped the eggs he was holding and Clara burst out laughing. This time it was definitely his turn to blush.

-x-

"Okay Clara, now the trick here is, you have to whisk the mixture until it's really really thick before pouring it into the pan." The Doctor instructed, dancing around his now painfully untidy kitchen so he didn't knock anymore ingredients that littered the work surfaces onto the floor.

They were both wearing aprons which they'd managed to cover in ingredients, along with the rest of the kitchen, it seemed. Clara was stood whisking the mixture as the Doctor observed the chaotically messy state of the room.

"Is this thick enough now?" Clara asked, pushing the bowl closer to him. "My arm's starting to get tired; I've been doing this for ages."

The Doctor observed the mixture and shook his head with a sigh. "Afraid not. You see, it's your mixing technique. Hold the whisk like this and do a more back and forth action, instead of round and round."

He tried to demonstrate but Clara crinkled her brow in confusion. "You what?"

The Doctor sighed again. "Okay, look I'll show you." He moved behind her and put his hand so it was on top of her's and helped her move the whisk around the bowl. "See, it's a lot easier this way."

Clara tensed slightly as she felt his breath on the back of her neck and his large, strong hand on top of hers. The Doctor seemed to be standing in very close proximity with her back against his chest, but neither of them appeared to mind as they got lost in their own little world. Finally Clara realised they'd been standing like that for a long time now and the mixture looked twice as thick as it had before. "Doctor?"

"Mm?"

"I think we've whisked it enough now."

He seemed to suddenly snap out of his little daydream he'd been in, and realised that his other hand was now on her shoulder, holding her close. He quickly let go of her and stepped back sheepishly. "Yes, right..um…yes…I think that's been whisked enough." He felt a little flustered because firstly, he'd been daydreaming about her and secondly, he knew she knew that.

Clara grinned before grabbing the baking pan and slowly filling it with the soufflé mixture. "You don't have to look so embarrassed you know. I know that was just a big excuse to hold my hand."

The Doctor found his eyes widening and his jaw dropping in shock. "What?! No! I was just…helping you with the whisking…and the thingy…and…oh shut up!"

Clara chuckled again as she smoothed down the mixture. "I think that's all done."

The Doctor smiled and took the pan off of her. "Thank you, Chef Clara."

"You're welcome, Chef Chin." She teased back.

"Chef Chin?!" The Doctor whined as he placed the soufflé into the oven. "Chef John! John's my name!"

Clara laughed. "It feels weird, calling you John. Nobody seems to ever call you that."

The Doctor shrugged and walked back over to where she was stood. "No, I suppose they don't nowadays."

"Where did the nickname come from anyway?"

"Oh, just some silly thing Amy came up with. You know what she's like..." The Doctor said defensively. He wasn't in the mood to tell the story, but as soon as he'd said it, he realised it had come out a little quickly.

Clara responded with an uncertain nod. She'd noticed as her and the Doctor had been talking whilst they made the soufflé that he didn't like to talk about himself much. Most things had been focused on her. What were her favourite films, music and books, for example. She couldn't help but feel that he was slightly shy of her presence, but put it down to not knowing each other for long.

The Doctor turned back towards his kitchen and let out a groan at its current state. "This is going to take forever to clear up."

As the soufflé cooked they cleaned the Doctor's kitchen and chatted whilst they went. They were almost done and Clara was trying to place the flour back in the top cupboard, but found due to her height that it was rather hard to reach.

"Do you need any help with that Clara?" The Doctor sniggered which earned a fierce glare.

"I'm quite capable of putting flour back in…AH!"

The Doctor burst into tears of laughter as the flour packet opened from underneath, spilling its entire contents on a rather frustrated Clara. Clara screamed before putting down the flour and dusting clumps out of her eyes. "Stop laughing at me right now chin boy! I'm absolutely covered in flour thanks to you!"

The Doctor finally stopped laughing. "I can see that, Clara. But if I remember rightly, you were the one who refused my help."

Clara crossed her arms and scowled, causing the Doctor to laugh again. "It's not funny!"

"Actually, it is pretty fun-" But before he could finished his sentence, Clara had grabbed an unused egg from the counter and splatted it on the top of his head. "CLARA!"

This time she burst out laughing as she watched the Doctor run his hands through his hair, scoping out egg yolk. "Clara Oswald, you are _so_ dead!"

Clara yelled as the Doctor chased her out the kitchen and into the living room, before pulling her into a backwards hug and dumping egg in her hair. They both collapsed on his sofa in fits of giggles. "Call it even?" Clara asked hopefully.

"I think we should, before my flat gets any messier then it already is!"

"And Doctor…?"

"Yes?"

"You can let go of me now."

The Doctor suddenly realised he still had his arms tightly around Clara's waist and removed them quickly before blushing yet again. "Sorry."

"Don't worry, I never said I didn't like it." Clara raised her eyebrows making the Doctor feel even more nervous and uncomfortable. However, he suddenly started chuckling again and Clara frowned. "What is it?"

"You have flour all over your nose! Here, let me get it." The Doctor reached forwards and stroked the flour gently off of her nose, before removing reminisces of it off her cheeks also. He looked up into her eyes as his hand rested on her cheek and she found herself gazing back. The Doctor searched her eyes quickly, before exploring the details of her face. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked even with flour and egg in her hair. Clara was looking at him almost lustfully and he felt a very impulsive urge to kiss her.

They both leant forward anxiously, before abruptly springing apart at the sound of the timer in the kitchen. "Ah…I think um…" The Doctor stuttered. "The soufflé's ready…"

"Yeah…we should probably…" Clara stammered awkwardly.

"Yeah…" The Doctor jumped up from the sofa with Clara following close behind him and they made their way back to the kitchen. He retrieved the soufflé from the oven and placed it on the counter.

"Wow." Clara exclaimed. "It actually looks perfect!"

"Let's try it and see, hey?" The Doctor removed it from the pan and placed it on a serving plate, before cutting two slices and putting them on smaller ones. He carried them both to the dining table and they sat down across from each other. "You go first." The Doctor urged.

Clara took a bite and the Doctor observed her expression somewhat nervously as she chewed. "This tastes amazing! You're right, you do make a pretty 'mean soufflé'." The Doctor let out a sigh of relief at her delight.

He then grinned happily and began eating his also, glad that Clara was enjoying this dish he'd been so determined to make perfect for her. "It wasn't just me. I think we make a pretty good team, you and I."

Clara beamed at him. "Yeah, I think we do."

* * *

*A/N: Firstly, I'm so so sorry this took so long to put up! I've been so busy but it's finally here!

I tried to make this really really fluffy to compensate, so please let me know if I managed that :)

On another note, what do you guys think of the new Doctor, Peter Capaldi? I can't wait to see what he brings to the character but I'm going to miss Matt so much!

Anyway, thanks for reading and please tell me what you thought of this chapter in the review box! I've gotten so many great reviews so far and I'm thrilled with the feedback, so thank you!

If you have any questions or suggestions or anything let me know :)

Unfortunately, (for you guys) I'm going away now until Monday, so I won't be able to update this until Tuesday/Wednesday, so there's another wait I'm afraid. After that I will try and update this more frequently, along with alphabet whouffle, which I've only actually written 2 chapters of so far (whoops).

Haha, thanks again for reading, hope you enjoyed this chapter! x*


	5. The Letter

***A/N**: Sorry this took so long to update again! I've been away all week but now I'm back so I wrote up this chapter for you so you wouldn't abandon me. I've realised that the story has been going quite slowly so far and was starting to get a bit boring, but this chapter starts to push it back on track to the main story line. The next chapter will be quite an important one and will begin to explain some things that have been slowly building up.

Thank you so much for all the reviews I've gotten so far! 41 reviews for 4 chapters is amazing, so I'm glad this has been so well received! I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for taking the time to review, follow and favourite! Also this has had thousands of reads now, which I'm really grateful for!

So anyway, happy reading and I hope you enjoy the chapter!*

* * *

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 5: The Letter**

The next month past rather quickly for both of them. It was now the beginning of December, which meant that the restaurant was much busier than usual, with offices and families booking crowded parties for the holiday season. This meant that the Doctor, being head chef, took long shifts each day into the night cooking and Clara spent a lot of time on her feet rushing in and out of the kitchen. It seemed that her search for teacher training had been temporarily abandoned with how busy she was, as any free time she had she spent with the Doctor.

However, Clara couldn't help but feel disappointed with how slowly things were going between them. The two of them spent almost every day at work together and had met up an awful lot out of work in the past month to go on 'dates', but each 'date' went exactly the same as the first. Lots of flirting, teasing and they both had a great time…but nothing ever happened.

Clara knew that she had managed to grow a major crush on the eccentric man and had an uneasy feeling that she was falling for him. He was good looking, funny, kind, caring and never failed to make her smile. She was truly smitten with him and treasured every evening they went out for a meal, a walk or went to his place to watch a film. But as many times as they almost kissed, those moments where they caught each other's eyes and she so badly wanted to snog him senseless…the Doctor always brushed the moment off awkwardly. Almost as if he was trying to avoid it from happening and was trying to push it away.

Clara was beginning to doubt that there was anything between them at all. _Maybe he doesn't feel about you that way? _She'd think._ Maybe he just wants to be friends?_ She couldn't understand their relationship at all. Were they dating…or just meeting up as friends? Did he want something to happen between them…or was she just kidding herself thinking that he did? Nevertheless, it was frustrating Clara immensely that the Doctor seemed to be flirting with her yet appeared to be leading her on as their relationship was still going nowhere.

Therefore, on a rather cold, early December morning when Clara arrived at work, she decided to talk to the cupid that had managed to get her into this emotional mess. And that cupid…was also known as Amy.

Clara walked into the kitchen, glad that she was working the morning shift that day and not the evening shift. This meant she didn't have to deal with the heavy mass of customers that came later, causing her to be on her feet for hours on end. As soon as she scanned the kitchen, she saw Amy in the corner immediately. Although, Amy was not alone, as she seemed to be eating the face off a relatively happy Rory. Amy and Rory had gone on their first date the day after Clara and the Doctor and had hit it off instantly. This meant in the past few weeks they had spent joint at the hip, or by what they were currently doing in the kitchen, other places too.

Clara coughed loudly causing the pair to casually break apart, Amy smoothing over her lip gloss and Rory draping an arm around Amy's shoulder. "Oh, hello Clara, didn't see you there." Amy greeted, still snuggled up to Rory's side.

Clara rolled her eyes and advanced towards them. "Yeah, I could see you two were busy doing other things…"

The pair both giggled before Rory broke away and gave her one last kiss. "I better get to work now, the Doctor's at the dentist this morning so has decided to take the day off as he's owed some holiday. This means I'm on my own in the kitchen until Jack shows up...late, I bet."

Amy let him go and Rory walked to his work station the other side of the kitchen, leaving the two women alone. Amy then turned back to Clara and furrowed her brow. "Are you alright this morning? You look a wee bit on edge."

Clara rocked back and forth on her heels, thinking of what to say. "It about the Doctor…"

Amy let out a sigh. "When isn't it about that silly man?"

Clara gave her an unimpressed look. "Amy, I really need your help. The Doctor and I have been seeing each other for a month now and nothing's happened, I feel like he doesn't want to make a move…and I'm beginning to think that he just wants to be friends and he doesn't actually like me. But the thing is…I think I may've fallen for him and now I don't know what to do."

Amy caught the depressed emotion that flickered in Clara's eyes and put an arm around her. "Oh Clara, I'm sorry, I didn't realise nothing was happening between you two…I thought…you were just keeping it private. I didn't know he hadn't even kissed you yet."

"Yeah, well…I don't think he even likes me. I've got a huge crush on a guy who just sees me as a friend. I feel like an idiot."

Donna and Rose then arrived in the kitchen, so Amy led Clara through to the staffroom so they could talk in private. "Come on, let's have some coffee and you can talk to me about it. I'm sure he really likes you Clara. It's just…the Doctor can find it hard to initiate relationships like this, it's very out of his comfort zone."

They were now in the staffroom standing in front of the coffee machine. Clara glanced at Amy and scoffed before giving a reply. "He doesn't seem to have a problem with flirting and giving me all of these signals, but I feel like he's leading me on. Does he want to be with me or not?" She took her coffee mug from the machine and stepped back so Amy could get hers. "What do I do Amy? I need your advice here because you seem to know him better than anyone…and you're the one that got me into this mess in the first place! So what do I do?"

Clara knew she was beginning to sound desperate and helpless, but she realised she didn't care. Amy had told her he liked her, but so far she wasn't seeing much evidence of that. Amy sighed again and retrieved her coffee before blowing on the hot drink and taking a sip.

"Clara, I need you to listen to me when I say this. The Doctor _really_ likes you. And I know you think I'm just saying this to try and force you two together but I'm serious. He thinks you're perfect and amazing and wonderful. He never stops talking about you or thinking about you and I think he's fallen for you just as much as you've fallen for him. But the thing is…he's really anxious about this. And that's not because of you, that's because of him. His last relationship didn't end well…and when I say that…I mean, it ended in such heartbreak and disaster he hates to even think about it. It's not my place to tell you what happened there, but you need to know that the reason the Doctor's so hesitant is because he's scared. He wants to be with you but he's _so_ terrified of getting his heart broken again. I know if something like that ever happened to him again it would kill him."

Clara looked at her somewhat surprised. "You know I'd never-"

"Oh, I know you wouldn't! That's the thing!" Amy interrupted. "You're lovely and so perfect for him, which is why I nudged you guys together in the first place. Whenever I see you two together he always looks so happy. I haven't seen him that happy in a long time. He really needs you, Clara. It's been over two years now since that relationship of his ended in disaster…and not once has he looked at another girl twice, until you. To him you're special. So I'm going to go and talk to him about it and tell him how much of an idiot he's being, okay? But maybe you need to tell him how you feel. Because he needs to know that you can't wait around for him forever, if he likes you, it's now or never."

Clara took another sip of coffee thoughtfully. "Thank you. That's actually some pretty good advice. Maybe you're not so bad at playing cupid after all."

Amy laughed. "Maybe I'm not. You know what? I'll pop round the Doctor's flat when I get home after my shift. Talk some sense into the man."

Clara chuckled. "Thanks Amy."

"Not a problem."

-x-

*Bang bang bang*

"Oi, Raggedy Man, open the door you muppet, I need to talk to you!"

*Bang bang bang*

"I know you're in here because I saw your car in the car park, so open up."

*Bang bang bang*

The Doctor suddenly jumped up into a sitting position on the sofa, cloaked with sleep. All he could hear was a persistent banging on his front door, which either meant someone was trying to burgle him…which would be impossible seeing as there's a security system that only lets people who live in the apartment block into the building…or one of his neighbours is trying to get hold of him. That narrowed it down to two people who lived in the building he actually talked to. Mrs Gillyflower, the old woman who lived next door…but due to the harshness of the banging that seemed very unlikely. Or it could be…

*Bang bang bang*

"Doctor! Let me in right now! I can't be bothered to go and get the key you gave me for your place from my apartment. I've just had a long shift and I'm tired, let me in!"

Amy.

The Doctor pulled himself to his feet and checked his watch. It was almost 5pm, which meant his 40 winks had lasted a lot longer then he'd anticipated. The TV was still on in front of the sofa, but instead of showing _'Let's do lunch with Gino and Mel'_ which he'd put on as soon as he got back from the dentist, it was now playing re-runs of _'Midsummer Murders'_. He sighed before staggering to the door, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

When he opened it, Amy was standing there with her hands on her hips, looking rather miffed. "I've been waiting here for almost 10 minutes! What took you so long?" She pushed her way past the Doctor into his apartment and began making them both a cup of tea.

"I was having a nap! This is my day off you know!"

Amy muttered something under her breath irritably and the Doctor frowned. "What are you doing here anyway? You usually make us hang out at your flat. You said my place is too blue."

"Yeah, well, I need to talk to you about Clara."

Amy began boiling his kettle and the Doctor sighed again, coming to stand beside her. "What about Clara?"

"Clara really likes you and she's disappointed because your relationship is going nowhere. I've tried to convince her that you do like her back, but she thinks that you just want to be friends. So Doctor, you need to stop messing her around. Do you want to date the girl or not?"

The Doctor was slightly taken aback by the sudden bombard of speech. He found himself looking down at his feet guiltily for a moment before lifting his head to look Amy in the eye. He swallowed nervously before whispering. "I think I'm falling in love with her."

Amy's eyes widened and she gave him a sympathetic look. "Wow, that's…definitely something."

The Doctor nodded. "I'm just really scared. I know I shouldn't be scared but I can't help it. Whenever I'm with her I love every moment but I always become filled with anxiety whenever we get close to…anything relationshipy. Urgh, I feel so stupid."

Amy gave him a hug and smiled comfortingly. "You're not stupid…ah well, actually you can be pretty stupid at times. But it's okay to be nervous. Of course you are after everything that happened. But Doctor, you just need to go for it. She's really good for you."

"Yeah, you're right." He let out a deep breath. "I promise, next time I see her…I'll do something about it."

"You bett-" But as Amy turned back to the counter to retrieve the boiling water from the kettle, she felt the front of her shoe catch on something on the floor. "What's that?" She asked. She knelt down on the kitchen tiles to see something lodged between them and the bottom of the kitchen unit.

The Doctor frowned and leant down also, before pulling at what seemed to be an envelope stuck there. He yanked it out and got to his feet, wiping dust off the front as Amy carried on making the tea. "Oh, I got this letter ages ago…I completely forgot about it. I got it when…yes that's right…Clara came round to bake that soufflé, I didn't have time to open it. It must of fallen onto the floor whilst we were cooking."

"Who's it from?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I didn't think the handwriting looked very familiar before, but now it rings a bell."

Amy poured the tea into mugs and started sipping her own as the Doctor prised open the letter. She tried to look over his shoulder nosily as he was reading but couldn't see a thing. "So? Who's it from?"

However, it took her a few moments to realise that the Doctor's face had dropped and tears were beginning to form in his eyes. Amy was instantly shocked and confused at his sudden change of mood. "Doctor? What is it? What's wrong?"

The Doctor sniffed as a sob he was trying to hold back broke through and the first tear finally rolled down his cheek. He slammed the letter down on the kitchen counter angrily and began to pace up and down the kitchen. Amy watched in surprise as he did so, trying and failing to piece together herself what could be wrong. "I thought this was all over. I thought I could move on…I don't...I…"

The Doctor put his head in his hands and Amy put her hand on his shoulder to try and provide any sort of comfort. It had caught her off guard to see the Doctor like this when he had been so optimistic only a minute ago. "Doctor, tell me. What was that letter about?"

He paused, battling with himself in his head, trying to decide whether he should tell her or not. But the Doctor knew he had to, he couldn't keep this a secret...

"It's her. She's coming back."

* * *

*A/N: Cliffhanger, mwahaha :3 Haha, please leave a review with what you thought of the chapter! Next one will be on soon, thanks for reading.*


	6. Losing Happiness

*A/N: First of all, can I just say...oh my god. I got 17 reviews for chapter 5. SEVENTEEN! Thank you so so so so so so much for the reviews! It means so much.

Secondly, to answer the question of the reviewer 'Who' Let's Do Lunch With Gino and Mel is a weekday lunchtime cooking programme here in the UK, and I thought it would be something the Doctor would watch as he is a chef;)

Thirdly, I am so so so sorry this took 2 weeks to update. I genuinely feel so bad. I have been living somewhere different this week and because of that I haven't been able to write, so I am so sorry. I promise the next one will be on asap. Actually, I was thinking, as soon as you guys are so brilliant at reviewing, as soon as this story gets to 70 reviews I will upload chapter 7 on the same day. Even if I have to stay up until 3am finishing it, there's a challenge for you ;)

Fourthly, Plot-wise, slight change of plan. Instead of having the chapter that explains everything as chapter 6, that will be chapter 7. This chapter goes forward in time 2 days and the next chapter goes back to when the letter was opened. This chapter is still a big chapter and you might not like the outcome...

Fifthly, I've decided this story will probably be around 24/25 chapters. I know that's really long, but I thought I'd let you know there's going to be a lot of storyline development.

Lastly, Thank you so much for the support, reviews, follows and favourites. I love you guys!

Happy reading!*

* * *

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 6: Losing Happiness**

She'd ruined everything for him. The Doctor wasn't sure if her intentions had been to deliberately hurt and humiliate him or whether she just didn't care about him at all. It didn't seem like it anyway…

However, the woman he'd spent so long trying to forget was ruining yet another moment for him now, playing on his mind whilst he was supposed to be having fun on a double date with Clara, Amy and Rory. Or at least, Amy had _claimed_ it would be fun.

Amy was determined not to let this letter change anything between the Doctor and Clara, as she knew it could, seeing as the Doctor had spent an awful lot of time worrying over it. She knew if the Doctor did see her again he could be lured back in by the menace Amy despised so greatly for what she did. Amy knew the Doctor was angry with the woman but also knew how forgiving he was, how open he was to second chances. She knew in terms of relationships he was so incredibly vulnerable in this sort of situation. Anything the woman could potentially say or do could easily trick him into going back, even if he did have feelings for Clara.

That's why Amy thought there was no better way to guarantee that didn't happen then making sure the Doctor and Clara got together as soon as possible. So, to try and take the Doctor's mind off his ghastly ex, she suggested that the Doctor and Clara should go on a double date with her and Rory. Well, it had been less of a suggestion to the Doctor and more of an order, but he decided to just go along with it anyway.

So two days after the letter was found, the quartet spent there Saturday evening in a restaurant & bar called _The Sonic,_ about half a mile away from where they worked at _Restaurant TARDIS_. Unfortunately, to Amy's disappointment, the evening didn't go as well as she had hoped. Not that she'd been that sober for much of it…

They'd finished their meal and the four of them were now bringing on the drinks from the bar, slowly becoming more and more intoxicated. Well, it was Amy and Rory that were doing most of the drinking, the Doctor too lost in his own thoughts to concentrate on drinks and Clara feeling slightly overwhelmed by all the alcohol being thrown in front of her.

As the evening went on, Amy was steadily getting more irritated with the Doctor's behaviour. Whenever he was usually with Clara, he constantly had his eyes on her and was always beaming with a huge smile on his face. Tonight however, he was paying no attention to anybody at the table and his gaze seemed to be concentrated at the window, in a day dream. Amy noticed he's been like this ever since he'd read the letter and hoped the date would do something about it. As of yet, it appeared to have done nothing but given Clara the impression that the Doctor was completely ignoring her presence. Amy and Rory had been chatting with Clara all night, but had noticed that the two of them didn't seem to be communicating much with each other. Amy nudged Rory to bring his attention to the matter on the opposite side of the table and put all of her efforts into doing something about it.

"Doctor?" She slurred slightly, trying to get his attention. Clara turned to look at him but the Doctor didn't seem to have heard the scot and continued staring out of the window. Amy gritted her teeth and gave him a harsh kick on the leg under the table, causing him to jump up in his seat and wince in pain. The Doctor glared at Amy as he tried to bare the pain of the wound her stiletto heel had left on his ankle.

"What?!" He snapped, which was so out of character for him it caused Clara to frown in confusion.

Amy gave him one of her fiercest glares, which prompted the Doctor to straighten up in his seat and lose the frustrated attitude. He knew that look and he knew automatically why Amy was giving it to him. "Why don't you tell us about your new soufflés you're putting on the menu at _Restaurant TARDIS_?" She began, trying to get him to make any sort of conversation with the rest of the group. "Did yours and Clara's soufflé-making-date have any influence on that decision?"

At the word 'date' Clara and the Doctor both shifted awkwardly in their seats before the Doctor turned and gave Clara an anxious look. "Um…well…I…" He stuttered. "Yes, I guess, maybe."

Amy almost rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"He's actually brilliant at making soufflés." Clara interjected, before blushing somewhat at her sudden compliment. "I mean, he showed me the areas of the recipe where I was faulting and perfected it. It was the nicest soufflé I've ever eaten."

Clara glanced at the Doctor to listen to his response, but all she got was a mumbled "Mm." as he'd gone back to gazing out of the window. Amy gave him another sharp kick under the table which caused the Doctor to jump up again and scowl at his violent friend. He leant across the table to where Amy was sat opposite and hissed harshly under his breath: "Would you stop doing that?!"

He leant back into his seat and turned to Clara again, who was now sitting with her arms crossed looking very unimpressed with his attitude. "Okay, what on earth is going on with you this evening?"

The way she spoke was now heavy with annoyance and the atmosphere at the table very rapidly became awkward. Amy and Rory looked at each other uncomfortably and the Doctor looked at her rather surprised. "I'm sorry?"

"You. You've hardly said two words to me, actually make that any of us, this entire evening…and to be honest it feels like you're ignoring me. So please explain what's going on, because I don't understand what's wrong. Have I said something to upset you? Is that it?"

Everyone else at the table was quite shocked to see Clara's feisty side suddenly emerge. The Doctor looked at her speechlessly for a moment and Amy and Rory took a large sip of their drinks.

"Well?" Clara persisted.

"Clara…I…it's not you. You haven't done anything wrong. I've just got other things on my mind at the moment. I'm sorry." The Doctor finally mumbled out, before glancing at Amy uneasily. Amy gave him a peeved look as if to say that didn't compensate for his attitude which caused the Doctor to feel slightly more helpless. He turned to Rory then, who couldn't make eye contact to give him reassurance. _Had he really annoyed everyone at the table tonight?_

"What things?" Amy and Rory's eyes darted to Clara, completely stunned that she was continuing to question the Doctor in such a way. However, the Doctor just slumped back into his chair and took a tiny sip of his drink, as he knew her well enough now to know he couldn't have satisfied Clara's curiosity that easily.

"It really doesn't matter."

"Well it must matter to some extent if you've been ignoring me all night thinking about it." Clara's voice was a lot snappier now and there was so much tension at the table you could cut the air with a knife. Amy and Rory gave each other another worried glance, clueless on how to intervene.

The Doctor was beginning to get irritable himself and was mad at the fact that a woman from his past had changed his mood so dramatically that night the people he adored the most seemed quite angry at him. "Look, Clara, no offence, but I don't need this right now. It's nothing to do with-"

"Then why did you come?" Clara's voice rose considerably as she interrupted him, so even over the loud music in the bar people at the neighbouring tables were beginning to turn at the argument that was brewing.

"Hey, Clara, maybe you and the Doctor want to finish this discussion outside, we don't want to make a scene." Rory suggested whilst studying the room and the looks Clara had gotten from her outburst.

But Clara ignored him and continued. "Actually, I'm beginning to wonder why you ever even turn up at all!" She didn't know what had prompted this dispute so suddenly. Maybe it was because the alcohol was starting to make her more emotional, or maybe it was because all the worries she'd had recently about falling in love with him and him maybe not feeling the same way were becoming an awful lot worse because of the mood he'd been in that evening. Either way, she couldn't hold back these feelings much longer.

Amy swallowed nervously. "Guys, Rory's right, I think you should-"

"What do you mean?" The Doctor asked confusedly, ignoring Amy. It was as if his attention had shifted drastically from the world outside of the conversation, to now listening to what Clara was saying intently.

"What do you think Doctor? I'm supposed to be your _date_ and it feels like all you've done for the past month or so is lead me on!"

The table suddenly fell silent as the Doctor stared at the petite woman beside him, gobsmacked at what she'd just exclaimed. Amy and Rory didn't know how to react so sat quietly and downed even more of their drinks.

The Doctor rapidly felt a surge of guilt hit him, as he noticed how Clara's eyes were beginning to glaze with tears and just how upset she was. It was his fault, he knew that. Ever since he got that letter he was conflicted on what to do and how to feel. He was falling in love with Clara, for the first time in a long time he was letting himself fall in love again and it was scary for him. But he was starting to enjoy it and cherish how lucky he was to have found someone as perfect as Clara.

Although, just like Amy predicted, this whole situation was confusing him. He was upset and cross at the woman for sending that letter and the nerve she had doing so. It brought back all the memories, all the hurt and all the heartbreak. He just felt like destroying the letter and distancing himself from the rest of the world, out of harm's way so he would never have to feel like that again.

But sitting here right now, looking at his beautiful Clara who he was falling in love with and seeing that he'd upset her made his chest ache. Because the way he'd been acting around Clara that evening was making him no better a person than the woman that destroyed him just a few years ago.

"Clara…" He said softly, reaching forward and taking her closest hand in his. But she shook him off and looked away which caused his heartache to worsen. "Clara, let's go outside and talk about this, please."

She couldn't argue even if she wanted to, because she knew if she spoke her voice would crack and the other two would know how upset she was. So she got to her feet and the Doctor took her by the hand and gently led her out of the bar and into an empty alley outside on the street.

They looked at each other wordlessly for a moment before Clara began to talk. "What has been going on with you tonight?" This time she didn't sound angry, but quite the opposite. She was curious because she was worried about him, but also because whatever this was had caused the first argument they'd ever had.

The Doctor knew he couldn't brush the question off this time and he knew he couldn't lie. So he let himself fall back against the side of the building and briefly rub his temple with his hands. "I've…I've had contact with an old…friend of mine in the past few days and it's caused me to do a lot of thinking. So I'm really sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring you Clara, I wasn't doing it intentionally."

But Clara was smart and she picked up on his use of words very quickly. "An old friend? You mean like an ex?"

The Doctor swallowed. "Yes, an ex."

Clara shook her head in disbelief and embarrassment. "So you mean this whole evening whilst you've been ignoring me, you've been thinking about some other woman?!"

The Doctor's eyes widened. "What?! No Clara, honestly, it's not like that…"

"Then what is it like Doctor?!" Clara paused for a second at an attempt to force back tears. "Because do you have any idea how humiliating that is for me?"

_Yes._ He thought to himself. _More than anybody else I know._

"I can't explain…you just have to trust me Clara, it's confusing for me right now, okay?"

"How is this confusing?!" Clara exclaimed, her voice even loader then it had been before in the bar. "I've been waiting for you for so long now. We've been going out on dates and to tell the truth I normally enjoy spending time with you more than any other person in my life right now. And I want this to be going somewhere. I don't just want to be friends going on dates, I want a relationship, I want something special like what Amy and Rory have. And to be honest…I thought you wanted that to. I thought…_stupidly_…that maybe you liked me as much as I like you. But every single date_ you_ never let it go anywhere. And Amy told me to wait for you, she convinced me you wanted this…she…" Clara's voice cracked as the first tear left her eye and she quickly snatched it away, unable to continue with the sentence. "But then I find out that this whole date you've been thinking of an ex of yours rather than paying any attention to me…I'm sorry, call me 'self-centred' but I think I have the right to be upset about this!"

The Doctor put his head in his hands, unsure of what he could say without making things worse.

Clara took a deep breath attempting to calm herself down and walked closer to him, her voice becoming very serious. "Doctor, please tell me before I embarrass myself anymore here…are you getting back together with this woman?"

The Doctor's head shot up in astonishment. "No!"

"Are you considering it?"

"Definitely not!"

"Then I don't get it. What's so confusing? Do you not like me? Is that it?"

"Clara, you don't understand-"

"Then make me understand!" She knew she sounded like a petulant child, but she needed to know, she needed to be certain of where things were between them.

"I…I don't think I can."

"You're unbelievable. Do you even like me at all? Or have you just been leading me on this whole time?!"

"No, I'd never do that! Clara, of…of course I like you."

Clara scoffed. "You have a very funny way of showing it."

"I've just got some things to sort out with myself. I can't explain, it's difficult…my ex she's…she's coming back and…"

"Wait, so you are getting back together?!" Clara interrupted, almost in tears again.

"No! It's just I don't know what to do!"

"I don't get you!" Clara cried. "I thought I did but I don't. Why can't you just tell me what's wrong? You're asking me to trust you, but you can't even trust me. Don't you realise I'm the one stuck in the middle of all this? I'm the one that's getting hurt?!"

"I'm so sorry Clara, I didn't mean for this to happen, I…I can't explain. I told you…it's complicated."

"Well then, if it's so complicated I'll make this a whole lot easier for you. Whatever this is between us, if there _is_ evena thing, it's over."

"No! Clara, please. Don't do this; I just need to get my head around some things. I really like you, I mean that." The Doctor begged, almost hysterically.

"Then here you go, you've got all the time in the world to go and 'get your head around things'." She turned her back on him and started to walk out of the alley. "I won't be messed around Doctor. I'm not just going to be waiting for you to understand whatever the hell is going on forever. Call me when you're sure you know what you want. Until then, it's over."

And with that, Clara left the alley and walked onto the main road to get the late night bus back to her flat. She just wanted to go home and forget about the horrible, heart breaking evening she'd had.

Once the Doctor was properly alone and Clara was out of sight, he let himself properly cry. Tears fell freely down his cheeks and he let them for the first time in a long time. He let his guard down because he felt too defeated to keep it up. She'd done it again, she wasn't even here yet and she'd done it again. Clara had become one of the best things in his life in such a short space of time, and because he couldn't bring himself to tell her the most heart wrenching secret of his existence, he could have lost her forever. He knew it wasn't just his ex's fault, it was mostly his. He was an idiot. A selfish, stupid, idiot. He told himself that again and again as he kicked the nearest wall in fury at what he'd just lost. Happiness. He'd spent so long trying to find it again and it looked like he'd lost it before he'd even had the chance to enjoy it.

There was only one thing he was certain of in that moment amongst the tears and frustration; he had to get Clara back. He had to show her what she meant to him and he had to make things right. And the only way he could do that, was by thinking back to his past and setting things straight with himself, for the first time in a long time…


	7. The Braver Man

***A/N:** I'm literally uploading this at 2.30am. This is what you guys have done to me.

I uploaded chapter 6 right before I went to sleep last night and then I didn't check it again until the morning.

I got 14 reviews in just 8 hours.

I woke up to 72 reviews! I thought it would take _at least _a few days to get to 70 reviews, not under 8 hours!

I got a total of 18 reviews for chapter 6 in 24 hours so thank you thank you thank you! If you're logged into FFN, tomorrow I'm going to start sending you thank you PM's.

I've been busy all day so I've spent all evening writing this for you, as promised.

I've actually had to cut this chapter in half, so you don't get the full revelation in this chapter (sorry!) The other half of this chapter will be chapter 8 and I've done this purely because it got far too long. It also flickers between 3 different points in time. Present, the day the letter was opened and 2 years ago in the past. I've tried to make this as easy to understand as possible (italics galore), but sorry if it's too confusing. There is also no Clara in this chapter, but you'll get a very Clara packed chapter in chapter 9.

Also, to answer the question of 'Guest': "Are you an English Major or something?" (I actually had to Google what a major was to double check the meaning as I'm British, haha) But no, I'm not, but that is seriously a massive compliment to me, seeing as I'm a 15 year old school girl who hasn't even taken her GCSE's yet! Wow, I sound like a university student? Thank you!

But anyway, thank you to every single one of you for reviewing, I mean that.

Enjoy the chapter, it explains a lot and some of you will probably pick up on some clues I've thrown around in here, but that's all I'm saying ;)

Happy reading!*

* * *

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 7: The Braver Man **

It all started when he first opened the letter, only two days ago. All those bad memories were flooding back like a tidal wave and he was drowning at the pressure of it all, dragging him deeper and deeper into what felt like suffocation.

"Doctor? What is it? What's wrong?" Amy had asked nervously.

The Doctor sniffed as a sob he was trying to hold back broke through and the first tear finally rolled down his cheek. He slammed the letter down on the kitchen counter angrily and began to pace up and down the kitchen. "I thought this was all over. I thought I could move on…I don't...I…"

The Doctor put his head in his hands and Amy put her hand on his shoulder to try and provide any sort of comfort. "Doctor, tell me. What was that letter about?"

"It's her. She's coming back."

"What? You've lost me."

"River. She's coming back to London."

Amy's eyes widened and she grabbed the letter from the counter so she could study it herself. There was an uncomfortable pause as she took in the words on the page and the Doctor waited for her to read them. "Doctor…I…" Amy tried to think of the best way to phrase her sentence with aggravating him further. "I don't think it's a good idea you see her again. You've done so well and come so far. I think it's best you just forget about it."

"She says in the letter she has something she needs to tell me-"

"Goodness me, you know very well what she wants to talk to you about. She'll want to get back together with you." Amy interrupted. "And that is not going to happen. _Understood_?"

The Doctor let out a deep breath and took a large sip of the tea Amy had just made.

"Because really, would you even want to see River again after she humiliated you like that?"

_No._ The Doctor thought. But he didn't want to think about it, the memory was too painful. So there it stayed, locked up tight in a little corner of his mind, until he was brave enough to look there again.

-x-

It's funny how vulnerable you can really feel when you wake up on the floor of your living room with a hangover, the Doctor mused.

He pulled himself onto his sofa, his head feeling like it had been hit with a tonne of bricks. His first thought of consciousness was Clara and how he'd screwed everything up between them on their double date last night. His second thought was that he had no idea what time it was and he was probably going to be late for work.

The Doctor jumped up from the sofa and dashed across the room to study the clock on the wall in his kitchen. However, he got up too quickly and suddenly felt light headed, bumping into several pieces of furniture on the way across his flat. It was only when he saw the time on the clock he properly snapped back into reality.

10am. _Shit_. He was supposed to be at work an hour ago. He groaned weakly, digging through a cupboard to find an aspirin to sooth his headache. Looks like he was going to have to have sick day today.

The Doctor never took sick days. _Ever_. He never got ill, never bunked off work and turned up on time every single day. But today was different to most days. He felt defeated and angry at himself in the worst sort of way. He'd lost all of his strength and his pride falling asleep drunk on the floor. It wasn't the sort of pride he'd lost from others, as no one had seen him do it. It was the sort of pride he'd lost from himself. The self-confidence and assurance you need to keep going every day.

As he picked up the phone to dial in the number for work and let them know he wasn't going to be coming in, the Doctor tried to convince himself he wasn't doing this because Clara was working the same shift today. He knew he seemed like a coward and he knew Clara would presume he was taking a day off just to avoid her. He decided he didn't care. He just didn't care anymore.

The phone rang for a while before it was picked up and the Doctor finally heard the voice of a rather sarky woman on the other end. "Doctor? Is this you? Where the hell are you!? You do realise we have that party of _40_ coming in from the church at 12 don't you? It's going to be absolute havoc in the kitchen."

"Yeah, Donna, I'm sorry. I'm really not well, I'm not going to be able to come in today." The Doctor muttered, adding the most convincing cough he could to the end of the sentence.

"You are joking. You? Sick? Pigs will fly before you get sick. The blooming _Queen_ will visit the Restaurant before you get sick. You, do _not_ get sick."

The Doctor groaned again. "Donna, I'm only human. I do get ill sometimes. I promise I'll be in tomorrow. I'm sorry."

"You're unbelievable, you know that? How on earth do you suggest we're going to manage today without you?"

This was the second time he'd been called that, _unbelievable_, in the past 24 hours, the Doctor noticed. "Call in Jack, he owes me a shift. As I said, I'll be in first thing tomorrow, I promise."

He heard Donna curse under her breath and finally let him put the phone down after what felt like an eternity of nagging. He then dragged himself back over to his sofa and fell onto it in a heap. He hadn't even had much to drink at the bar the night before. It was when he got home after his argument with Clara, he'd downed as much alcohol as he could find inside his kitchen cupboards. He ultimately regretted doing it now, as he honestly thought he had the worst hangover he'd ever had in his life.

The Doctor felt around on the floor for his mobile phone and noticed he had several missed calls and text messages from Amy.

_-Wht happened with u and Clara?x_

_-R u ok? Y r u not at work?x_

_-Clara told me evrything, Im worried about u, call me x_

The Doctor sighed. At least it didn't seem as if Amy had stayed mad at him for long. He wouldn't be able to stand it if he'd lost her too.

-x-

He thought back to three days before. He and Amy were still standing in his kitchen discussing the letter.

_"Wait, you aren't seriously considering seeing her again are you?" Amy questioned._

_"I thought I could forget her, that this was over and I'd never have to think about her again. But I don't know. This is the first time she's made contact with me Amy. The first time since. What if she doesn't want to get back together with me but it's actually something really important?"_

_Amy shook her head in disbelief. "Don't be ridiculous. I can't believe she's done this. The nerve of the woman, really…I could…" Amy clenched her fists in anger. "You know what I would do to her if I had half the chance."_

_"Mm." The Doctor agreed, fully aware of what his feisty friend could do when she was angry._

_"And don't be stupid. It's not important. The only reason she's doing this is because her relationship obviously hasn't worked out with lover boy…" The Doctor winced at her words and Amy's expression softened in realisation. "You're trying to forget about it aren't you? Forget that day ever happened. Or at least pretend it never did."_

_The Doctor nodded silently and took another sip of his tea. _

_"Doctor, you know you're never going to get closure if you pretend it never happened. You need to accept it and then move on. But falling into her trap and going to meet her isn't the solution."_

_"But why would she come back to London? After all this time? Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?" The Doctor insisted._

_Amy shrugged. "With that woman I'd never be surprised at what she'd do. I think you need to have a long, hard think about this before you make a decision about whether you should see her again. And I don't want you just to think about what she could want , I want you to think about how you felt when she left you and how distraught you were. And then I want you to ask yourself; do you actually want to see her and risk yourself feeling like that again?"_

The Doctor thought about that now whilst he was sprawled across his sofa and he knew he really did have to make a decision before he became anymore conflicted. He'd spent the previous night so caught up with what River could possibly have to say, he'd completely disregarded Clara and made things worse in the process. He was deeply disappointed with himself for what he'd done and he knew what he had to do.

So the Doctor got up, pulled on his purple tweed coat over the clothes he was still wearing from the night before and went out for a walk. He walked to the large park at the far end of his street and took a seat on a bench by the side of the small river that ran through the grassy fields.

There was nobody else there but him, not a soul. All he could hear were the wisps of the wind and the songs of the birds. It seemed quite fitting really.

For the first time in a long time, he let himself think back to that awful day.

He became the braver man.

-x-

_It had all been a daze really, after the wretched day it had all become a blur. He'd distanced himself, not wanting to think about it. Not wanting to think about what happened ever again. The edges of the day felt foggy and he could only remember the depression and disbelief. He could only remember the point where he found out it had all gone wrong. But he forced himself to remember what had happened that day and he finally recalled the earliest memory from where he locked them away._

_It was 8am. He was standing in front of the large mirror in his bedroom, hands trembling as he carefully did up his new bowtie. It was deep blue, his favourite colour. Same as the paint on his apartment door and the walls of his living room. It was a beautiful satin material, more then he'd usually spend on one of his bowties. But then again, today was no ordinary day._

_Rory burst through his bedroom door, with an identical blue bowtie undone around his neck. "I don't know how you can wear these things every day, they're impossible to do up." He complained, nudging the Doctor out of the mirror's view so he could finish tying it up. _

_The Doctor straightened his so it was neatly in place, looking smart alongside his egg blue waistcoat, crisp white shirt and black tuxedo. "Where's Jack?" He queried, wondering what had happened to his other groomsman._

_"He's in the living room confirming times with the Taxi Company. Calm down, every things fine. We're running way ahead of schedule anyway. We don't even have to be there until 10." Rory reassured him. He finally managed to do up his bowtie and turned to the Doctor. "Don't I look like the most dashing best man you've ever seen?"_

_The Doctor smirked. He knew Rory was joshing around to try and calm his nerves. "Nah, have you seen your nose?"_

_The pair both chuckled as they made their way into the living room to see how Jack was doing. _

_10am._

_They reached the venue at exactly 10, after the Doctor had spent half the journey nagging the taxi driver to make sure they arrived dead on time. They decided on an old rustic hall on the edge of London for the ceremony as neither of the couple had ever been particularly religious. Nobody was there yet as the wedding didn't start until 11, so the Doctor went into the large ceremony hall and observed the décor. White and pale blue flowers covered the window sills of the grand old windows and were placed elegantly at the end of each row of chairs. A red carpet ran down the aisle in the centre of the hall all the way to the alter making the room look traditional and elegant. The room really did look beautiful._

_There were more people coming to the ceremony then the Doctor had wanted. He'd only desired a small wedding, a few close friends and a tiny reception, but River had wanted otherwise. She insisted on inviting all of her work colleagues which was quite a large amount, on top of childhood friends and more recent ones, as she had no family left. Therefore, the Doctor had felt obliged to invite everyone who worked at Restaurant TARDIS as they were the closest friends he had. Having never met his family, he felt after working there for several years and becoming a close unit with all of the staff, they were sort-of family to him. _

_The Doctor walked back into the foyer of the venue, to see Rory on his mobile and Jack stood casually beside him. "What are you doing?" The Doctor asked as he glanced around and observed the old buildings vintage interior. _

_"He's calling Amy, as always." Jack smirked, earning a stern glare from Rory. _

_"I've told you Jack, Amy and I are __**just**__ friends." He insisted, listening carefully to his phone as it rang._

_"Yeah yeah, whatever you say."_

_"Anyway…" Rory interjected. "I haven't been able to get hold of the women all morning. Knowing Amy she's forgotten to take her phone charger to River's last night and its run out of battery. She's always doing that."_

_Being River's maid of honour and only bridesmaid, Amy had spent the night at River's and was staying to help her get ready in the morning. Even though River spent most her time living with the Doctor, she still had her tiny flat a few roads away, so they spent the night there so he wouldn't see her before the wedding. However, the Doctor was starting to think it was strange Rory couldn't get hold of them._

_"What, you mean like when Amy stays the night round yours?" Jack teased, causing Rory to grit his teeth. _

_"Amy has never stayed over at mine and this really isn't helping!" He exclaimed. Rory then sighed and hung up his phone. "Nope, no answer."_

_The Doctor looked at him anxiously. "Have you tried calling River?" _

_"Yeah, but her phone's switched off and I don't have her landline, do you have it?"_

_The Doctor chucked his mobile at Rory who dialled the number, paused, frowned, then hung up. "Voicemail." He explained. "Oh well, nothing to worry about I suppose, I guess they're just too busy getting ready."_

_But the Doctor's nerves were worsening by the second. He had a horrible uneasy feeling in his stomach which he couldn't quite shift. Surely nothing could've happened…could it?_

He had that uneasy feeling in his stomach again now and he hated it. He swallowed hard at an attempt to supress it but failed. It was only being made worse by the freezing December breeze that surrounded him which caused goose bumps to cover his skin.

The Doctor didn't want to think about the part of the story that came next, because that was the worst part, the part that almost destroyed him on what was supposed to be the best day of his life. However, he knew he had no other choice.

-x-

_10.45am._

_Everyone was arriving now, a good hundred of them. They still hadn't been able to get hold of the women, but that was soon pushed to one side as the Doctor stood in the foyer greeting all of the guests. _

_"John Smith?" The Doctor turned round to see the registrar beside him and shook his hand. "We'll be starting in fifteen minutes, if that's okay?"_

_The Doctor nodded. "Yes, she'll be here any minute now. She's always been one for making an entrance."_

_The man smiled. "I'll go and get ready."_

_The Doctor greeted the last of the guests and made his way into the back of the hall to see Rory on his mobile again. "Any luck at getting hold of Amy?" He questioned expectantly._

_Rory shrugged. "Kind of, I just received a really weird voicemail from her. It was from River's landline actually, but it's sort of fuzzy and hard to make it out. She's saying she's lost something. Probably the flowers, she's been so nervous about losing River's bouquet. Amy's been in charge of looking after it."_

_Jack sighed. "I'll go and wait for them by the door. I'll come through and let you know when they get here." _

_The Doctor and Rory agreed, so Jack walked through to the foyer._

_But at 11 there was still no sign of River or Amy. Neither was there 15 minutes after that._

_"Mr Smith?" The registrar had come to see the Doctor and Rory again, wondering why there was such a delay. "Is everything alright?"_

_"Yes, yes." The Doctor mumbled although he was rather uncertain. "Just running a bit late, that's all."_

_The man nodded. "We need to get started in the next 20 minutes. I've got another wedding straight after this."_

_He then left the 2 men by the door, still waiting for the women's arrival. The Doctor was shaking now, fearing terribly that something had gone wrong. "Do you think everything's okay Rory?" He asked again, voice quivering, for about the tenth time in the last 5 minutes._

_"Of course! I keep telling you, don't worry Doctor. There's probably just a lot of traffic." But Rory knew he was beginning to sound less and less convincing every time he said it. Rory pulled at his collar anxiously, his bowtie beginning to feel very tight. "Everything's going to be fine."_

_The Doctor wished so badly that had been true. _

_15 minutes later there was still no sign of the women. _

_The Doctor and Rory had now made their way up the aisle and were standing at the altar, trying to convince the guests that nothing was wrong and the ceremony was about to begin. Everyone the Doctor knew was here, every single soul. They'd begun stirring in their seats, well aware that the ceremony was supposed to have commenced half an hour ago. Jack was still at the door waiting. The Doctor was really panicking now. Shaking harder, sweating vigorously and pacing back and forth. He was panicking more than Rory had ever seen. So much so, Rory was scared he was on the verge of having an attack._

_The Doctor could feel everybody in the room's eyes upon him, staring into him like a hundred daggers. He was denying the worries in his head from even crossing his mind. It couldn't be true. Everything was going to go to plan. Everything was going to be alright. _

_But nothing could have prepared the Doctor for what happened next. _

_Because the next thing he knew, Amy came staggering through the doors into the ceremony hall completely out of breath, her bridesmaids dress scruffily put on and without her hair and makeup done. Worry was written all over her face._

_It was as if from that point time slowed down for the Doctor, every motion before his eyes at decelerated speed. Everybody turned to stare at the tall redhead that had burst loudly into the hall, who was now panting from running into the building as she made her way up the aisle to where the 2 men were stood. Jack was following close behind her._

_The only words that left her trembling lips were: "She's gone."_

_And that's all he heard her say, before the room faded to black._

* * *

***A/N: **Oh and I forgot to mention...cliff hanger ending ;)*


	8. Without Haste

***A very long A/N:  
**

Can I just say firstly, thank you so so much. I got 35 reviews for chapter 7! Thirty five for one chapter! I actually can't believe that...it's absolutely incredible. Also, thank you all so much for getting me to 100 reviews! I've sent thank you PM's to everybody that was logged in, but as I'm guessing most of you that are not logged in are from tumblr, I thought as soon as I got to 100 I'd do a quick shout out to every single person that reviewed chapter 7 and helped me get there.

So thanks to; runyoucleverboy-remember, AmberJade777, Guest, Guest, Guest, GinevraWeasley, Sherlock80, Snogboxxx1996, Guest, SunnySmile1324, Le Master Procrastinator, Guest, Planet of the Deaf, rescuemechinboy-showmethestars, Guest, zoz, Guest, Guest, Guest, Alice Hightopp, TheDoctorandtheDaleks, Justine, Rose, WhouffleLover14, Sonic67, TheGirlWhoWaited, Guest, LOTR3, Em-J, souffez, Guest and Guest.

Secondly, sorry I didn't update this sooner! To compensate, this chapter is _really_ long. I was thinking about making it 2 chapters, but I decided I wanted to get his part of the story over and done with in this chapter as chapter 9 begins a new part of the story. (And don't worry, Clara will be back in chapter 9!) I should be able to get chapter 9 done in the next few days, but I may not be able to get it on until Friday.

Also, I've been receiving many messages on here and on tumblr asking if there are any other Whouffle AU's I would recommend reading. So on the author's note at the **end** of this chapter, I've made a list of my personal favourites for you guys to check out.

And lastly, I need to emphasise that **this chapter comes with a warning.** This chapter contains scenes which some readers might find triggering or displeasing, so please bare this in mind whilst reading! There is nothing too graphic, I don't think, but it does contain the serious subject of depression which some people do struggle with. This is a fairly depressing chapter, which I'm sorry about, but it is a very important aspect to the story. I was conflicted about putting these scenes into a fic which has started off so fluffy and cute which has made it rather angsty, but please remember this story is going to be around 25 chapters long! Therefore there is a lot of storyline development to come! I have spent a long of time researching the main scenario that happens in this chapter to make it realistic and understandable to something that could happen in real life.

There are 2 main reasons why I had to include these scenes. 1, was that this was the best way of trying to convey to you as readers why the Doctor has been very withheld and anxious around Clara with regards to them starting a relationship. It also makes you realise why Amy is so involved and why the Doctor has lots of anxiety with issues concerning River. And 2, it will link to something that is yet to come much later in the story, but I'm not saying anything else about that...spoilers ;)

It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review and let me know if I managed to pull it off. Because it is a very serious topic and I wanted to get it right, but I'm not entirely sure how well I managed.

This chapter has been based around the song _Into the Ocean_ by Blue October - to be honest it's not usually my sort of music but it's definitely worth a listen.

Thanks for taking the time to read this essay of an author's note and try your best to enjoy the chapter.

Happy reading x*****

* * *

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 8: Without Haste**

_I want to swim away but don't know how  
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean  
Let the waves up take me down  
Let the hurricane set in motion  
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down  
Let the rain come down  
Let the rain come down_

The Doctor suddenly snapped out of his trance and realised his cheeks were stained with tears. He mopped them away using his sleeve, feeling slightly embarrassed that he'd let himself cry in a public place. Not that anybody was even here; the park was still as empty as it had been when he arrived. But the wind had gotten stronger causing the leaves of the trees nearby to fiercely rustle. The Doctor noticed a grey storm cloud was coming into view above him and it had suddenly got a lot colder.

But he didn't move. He didn't care.

_When the Doctor woke after his black out, his memories became even blurrier. He'd woken up on the floor in the hall with Rory and Jack crotched over him looking fearful, but then relieved when they saw he was okay. The room was now empty, with everyone evacuated whilst the Doctor had fainted. They'd been told to go home and that the wedding wasn't to be continuing that day. They hadn't been told the horrible truth yet to as why. _

_As soon as the Doctor sat up feeling confused after his panic attack, Amy appeared out of nowhere and scooped him up in her arms in a tight hug, refusing to let go. _

_When they finally broke apart, Amy told the 3 men what had happened that awful morning from her point of view._

_Amy had woken up at 10.30, shocked that she'd overslept so late when they were supposed to wake at 7 to do hair and makeup. Amy got up from where she'd slept on River's sofa bed in the living room with an awful headache. She suddenly remembered the outrageous amount of Alcohol River had forced down her throat the evening before. Why had she done that?_

_Amy quickly burst into River's room to alert her of the time to see it empty, with only 2 notes left on the bed. Amy examined them both. One was addressed to her reading; "I'm leaving, I can't go through with it. I'm so sorry Amy."_

_And the other to the Doctor inside of an envelope. Amy was about to open it but thought otherwise, as the Doctor could potentially be very angry if it held confidential information between the pair. _

_As the Doctor had done, Amy began to panic. She ran outside to see River's car gone and ran up and down the street asking if anyone nearby had seen her. She got nothing. _

_Amy ran back up to River's flat and called her mobile using the landline as her own mobile was out of power but it went to voicemail. She searched around River's little flat for any other clues and noticed that the majority of her personal possessions were missing, along with almost all of the clothes out of her wardrobe._

_The only thing she could think to do was phone Rory and cursed when it went to answer phone. She tried to explain River had gone missing but the phone line started to die so she gave up helplessly. Amy then realised she was going to have to go down to the venue herself to explain to the others what was happening. _

_She began to hope that maybe River had changed her mind and made her own way to the hall…as her wedding dress was also no longer in the flat. Amy longed that she'd just got a bit of cold feet. She tried to convince herself of this as she quickly pulled on her bridesmaids dress, not worrying about makeup and dashed outside and jumped into the taxi that was there waiting to take the bride to the wedding._

_Amy had run out of the taxi as soon as they got to the hall and into the venue. But she realised as soon as she saw the Doctor's worrisome face stood there at the alter that River wasn't here either. Reality hit, she was really gone._

-x-

After that the Doctor ordered for them to take him home immediately. Amy had handed him his letter whilst they were at the venue but the Doctor refused to open it until he was home alone. But when they got back to his flat, Amy refused to leave him. Rory and Jack left at his request, but Amy wouldn't go. She knew that the Doctor was in the worse state possible. He'd been sobbing painfully since she'd told him what had happened in the ceremony hall and she knew the Doctor was so depressed and vulnerable at potentially losing the woman he was madly in love with, god only knows what he could do.

It turned out being a good thing she stayed with him, because the words on that page completely tore him apart.

He lost her forever on that day. River was the first woman the Doctor ever fell in love with. They met when they were high school sweethearts and dated on and off through their university years. They then both settled in the same area of London after they graduated. The Doctor got a junior chef's job at Restaurant TARDIS and River became an archaeologist's assistant. They began dating properly again and fell in love quickly. After a many happy years together the Doctor popped the question. A year after that they had arranged to get married.

When River left the Doctor on what was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives, she left his heart in tatters. She was his world; with no family due to being raised in foster care he loved her more than anyone else in the universe. She literally meant everything to him, but it became obvious it wasn't the same for her.

It wasn't just nasty what she did. It was cruel, torturous and unforgiving. He'd given her his heart, all of his love but she'd thrown it back in his face and fled for the hills. She literally left him at the altar. Discarded him without a care, so it seemed.

The Doctor was a mess after the wedding. He didn't have to go back to work for 2 weeks as he'd taken holiday to go on his honeymoon. Due to the circumstances, that was swiftly cancelled and he made use of his 2 weeks off crying away his sorrows in his flat. Amy and Rory spent weeks living with him trying to help heal his heart. He was broken, physically and mentally. He hardly spoke, he hardly ate, and he hardly got up from the sofa. He couldn't deal with it. He couldn't accept what had happened.

However, the Doctor wasn't just heartbroken, he was also humiliated. Every soul he knew was in that ceremony hall. Every single person he knew watched as he was dumped in the worst way possible. Any pride the Doctor had was taken from him, leaving him in a state of embarrassment and shame. He felt like he never wanted to see anybody again, because every time he did his friends looked at him with such pity and awkwardness it caused him to enter a state of frustration. He felt as if nobody was going to treat him the same again.

Amy and Rory were the only 2 people that he would see. They took turns between shifts coming and comforting him, making sure he was okay. But of course he wasn't okay. Very far from it. But he was coping, just, and if he was coping then at least things weren't getting any worse. They didn't think it could actually get any worse than what the Doctor had been like _the first few days._

Because when the Doctor and Amy got home after the wedding, or _almost_-wedding, he decided to open her letter. The letter she'd left on her bed next to Amy's short note in a tightly sealed envelope, explaining the reason for her despicable departure. The Doctor realised now that she appeared to be quite the fan of communicating by letter. _Maybe it's because she doesn't have enough courage to say these sorts of things to my face,_ he thought.

_Yes_, He decided. That was definitely it.

-x-

It was even colder now than it had been previously and the Doctor was mulling over how stupid he was to have not put some gloves before leaving his flat. The storm cloud was now also covering the whole sky before him, making the park appear darker and giving it an eerie feel. The Doctor rubbed his hands together vigorously to try and get some warmth, as the freezing air was causing them to turn purple in colour and sting quite considerably.

Despite this, the Doctor continued to stay where he was sitting on the park bench and reached into his coat pocket to pull out a worn looking piece of paper. The reason he had forgotten to pick up his gloves, was because just before leaving the door he quickly went and grabbed this out of a dresser drawer.

It was folded into quarters roughly and the Doctor ran his fingers over the front a few times before slowly opening it up. He realised it'd been a long time now since he last had, as on his attempt to try and forget about River he promised himself he would never read what was written on this page ever again. Nevertheless, the Doctor had never plucked up the courage to throw it away. Therefore it had remained at the bottom of a dresser draw for a long while.

He didn't want to read it again; for this was the letter River had left him on that terrible day.

And this was the letter which had made that awful day an awful lot worse.

His eyes skimmed the top of the page timidly.

_Sweetie,_

Before carrying on and giving in.

_I'm writing this as an explanation to why I've left so suddenly on what was supposed to be our wedding day. I'm sorry, the words don't begin to even cover what I've done to you but I really am, which is the reason why I'm doing this._

_I couldn't go through with the marriage today because of something that's been happening for a while now and the guilt has been eating me alive. I've been unfaithful to you and I've been seeing another man behind your back. It ended a while ago, but in the past few weeks I've seen him again and realised I have feelings for him I shouldn't have whilst I'm with you. _

_And I'm sorry for the reason I've left, because I shan't be coming back. I've left to spend my life with him because we've fallen in love. It's not fair on you if I tried to ignore these feelings and go through with the marriage today, because it would have just ended in disaster for the both of us. I think we'll both be happier like this, you'll find someone else who loves you more than I ever could and I can live my life with him. It's Harry, I thought you should know. For that reason I understand you will never want to see either of us again. I think it's better that way._

_Tell everyone I'm sorry. I know that them and you included will hate me forever for what I have done and I don't blame you for doing so. I want Amy and Rory to know I will miss them and I'm so sorry for leaving Amy alone in my flat with no idea where I'd gone. It was just what I had to do._

_I want you to move on from me. If you do anything at all for me after all bad I've done it's this; forget about me and get on with your life. I know it's hard and such a horrible thing to have to think about on our wedding day but I promise it will make things so much easier._

_As I'll probably never speak to you again after this, I just wanted to say thank you for everything. Thank you for the memories and all those years spent together, but now it's time to say farewell._

_So goodbye, John. _

_And good luck._

-x-

The Doctor felt another tear leak out of his eye and then watched as it fell down onto the page, making a damp spot on the paper and causing ink the letter was written in to smudge. The feelings all came rushing back as he remembered what he'd felt like when he'd first opened this letter over 2 years ago…

He couldn't accept it. The Doctor felt as if he was reading a lie. It felt like this was all just some horrible nightmare and soon he'd wake up and it'd all be over. He'd then screamed and gotten really enraged, knocking over ornaments and furniture because of all the vexation he was in.

Amy would be lying if she said she hadn't been a little scared watching him, but she knew that it was better he got it all out of his system now rather than later. She'd been right, as it wasn't long before the Doctor calmed down, fell onto the sofa and sobbed again. She'd stayed with him all night with an arm around his shoulders, telling him that everything was going to be okay. That River was vile and he was ten times better off without him. That it seemed bad now but he would get over it one day and life would get better again. He didn't believe her.

He cried himself to sleep.

And for Amy it broke her heart. She'd met River through the Doctor and they'd become really close friends. River wasn't the sort of woman that had that many _close_ friends. She had _lots_ of friends that were work colleagues and jumped between being close with each of them depending on what archaeology project she was working on, but Amy and Rory were the only people she stayed close friends with, without a romantic relationship, for a long period of time. But as far as Amy and Rory were concerned, as soon as River deliberately got Amy drunk, cheated on their _best_ friend and then ran away, that was definitely the end of their friendship.

Watching the Doctor fall to sleep on his sofa in an emotional mess made Amy even angrier at River. She wanted to inflict all the pain and suffering on River that the Doctor was experiencing right now: loss, devastation, heartbreak, humiliation, shock, shame, anger and grief to name just a few. But Amy knew if she did track River down and find a way to cause her any of those things the Doctor would be no happier for her doing it. Doing that would make her no better a person then River herself and as Amy knew, two wrongs don't make a right.

But it wasn't until the next day that Amy fully realised just how bad a state the Doctor was mentally in.

She'd had to go to work the next morning and woke up next to the Doctor with an awful backache from sleeping uncomfortably on his sofa at 6am. She'd gotten up and made him breakfast, which he'd refused to eat, before popping downstairs to her own flat to get ready for work. Just before she left, Amy went back up to the Doctor's apartment to check on him one last time to see if he'd manage to digest any of the toast she'd made him. However, he was still sat silently in the exact same position on the sofa staring into space as when she'd left him. The plate of toast was untouched on the coffee table beside the couch.

She'd sighed and left him to it, making a mental note to come back and check on him as soon as she finished her shift. After all, he was a grown man and didn't need to be checked on every five minutes.

Amy had arrived at work and been met immediately by an awkward silence from the rest of her colleagues that were in that day. There was a slight tension in the room, as everyone who worked at _Restaurant TARDIS_ had been off work the day before and witnessed the Doctor's horrible experience at the altar. She broke the tension by explaining to them that the Doctor was going to continue to take the two weeks holiday before returning back to work. They all agreed that as soon as he did, they'd forget all about it and treat him as normal like nothing had happened. Amy was grateful at this to say the least. This was a sign that things were all going to get back to normal.

As she pondered to herself during her shift that day, Amy was trying to consider how long it would take for him to recover and what she could do to help him in anyway. She knew he needed to build back up his confidence and pride as well as mend his heart, but even though Amy knew this would take a fairly long time to do, she was sure that they could manage it. He'd stopped crying this morning. She was trying to convince herself that maybe things were starting to get better already…but she'd never thought to herself during her shift that day that things could possibly get so much worse, so very fast.

In other words, she definitely wasn't expecting what she saw when she got back to his flat that evening.

Amy had thought about visiting him during her lunch break, but Rory had convinced her that he needed some time to himself to think things through and leaving him alone for the day would be a good idea. In the end Amy had agreed, so didn't return to the Doctor's until 4.15pm.

She'd opened the door to his flat with her set of keys before immediately checking the sofa. She'd found it empty, with the plate of discarded toast still present on the coffee table. Regardless of the circumstances, she still gave an irritated tut, picked up the plate and turned towards the kitchen on the other side of the room.

That's when Amy saw him. It caused her to freeze momentarily as she took in his position sprawled across the kitchen tiles. He wasn't still, but shaking somewhat. The Doctor only looked slightly conscious therefore appeared to not have even noticed Amy walk in. All his attention he had left focused on extending his quivering right arm outwards to reach something scattered across the floor.

It was only then Amy acknowledged the many open packets of painkillers around him and the large half empty bottle of vodka he was clinging onto with his other hand. She dropped the plate onto the floor in shock and let out a scream as it smashed on the ground.

Everything after that happened so fast. Amy ran towards him, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks and shook his shoulders forcefully to try and alert him back into awareness. His eyes were fluttering closed and he appeared to be getting limper in her arms as each second passed. Amy quickly grabbed at the packets of painkillers to try and register how many pills he'd taken.

She couldn't count properly, her mind in a state of panic and confusion with a dreadful sick feeling in her stomach. She felt as if she was going to be physically sick right there right now, the sensation in her abdomen developing into an awful pain. There were too many emotions at once; she was horrified, scared, trembling. Amy ran to the phone and dialled 999, struggling when the operator asked her questions. She was too busy weeping at the state of her best friend on the floor thus was unable to think straight.

_"Amy, tell me, how many pills has he taken?" "Is he conscious?" "Is he breathing normally?"_ But she could hardly talk, stammering, sobs making up the majority of her sentences. Her replies had been vague, unable to think as normal. Hundreds of her own questions were busy filling her mind, with a few more prominent than others: _Did he really feel that defeated after what had happened yesterday that he thought suicide was the best and only option? _But obviously, she knew the answer to that one had been proven. _Yes_.

_Was he going to be okay? _

The answer to that one: She really didn't know…And _that_ was ultimately what made this situation the most terrifying.

The rest was a hazy to her. She stayed with him until the ambulance arrived, trying desperately to keep him awake. Amy got in the ambulance with him, still in immense shock, watching as the paramedics attempted to keep him alive. They got to the hospital not too long after, the Doctor rushed to intensive care and Amy left in the waiting room. She remembered calling Rory, who turned up in a matter of minutes to wait with her. And there they stayed, waiting for a good half an hour until a doctor came to give them the news.

_He didn't swallow enough pills to cause any permanent damage. His comatose state was due to alcohol being mixed with the drug but you reached him just in time. There doesn't appear to be much harm done but we're keeping him on treatment at the moment to help him recover. He's going to be okay._

Relief consumed the pair and Amy began crying in a hysterical state once more, overjoyed that her raggedy Doctor was going to be all right. It was then she was physically sick, the pain in her gut gone as if the stress and anticipation had cause it to tighten, only now to release all of the worry that had been building up inside.

They went and visited the Doctor after Amy had finished heaving up the contents of her stomach in the ladies toilets. When they got there she simply asked him _why_. He couldn't respond, but they both knew she already knew why. Life without River, the woman he loved the most, just didn't seem worth living. Nothing else in that moment of depression had really mattered. He felt as if he couldn't live with that broken heart.

He was ashamed more than anything. Ashamed he'd been caught. Ashamed he hadn't succeeded. He felt embarrassed to be alive. And of course, he felt guilty. He felt guilty that he'd caused Amy and Rory emotional pain, which is why he couldn't answer her question and why he couldn't look either of them in the eye. Because they both knew no matter how much he loved them, yes, he had wanted to die. There was no denying that.

That's when they made their next mistake. They let the Doctor go home only 2 days later. Amy had been angry that the hospital wanted to discharge him so quickly, making comments that the NHS was being 'stingy'. But the Doctor himself had wanted to leave, so in the end Amy gave up with her protesting and hoped it was for the best.

The Doctor's doctor who had been looking after him for the past few days in the psychiatric ward insisted he saw a councillor for his depression. As if he didn't, it could potentially get worse. The Doctor declined and told him that his near miss with death had opened his eyes; _he was already feeling better._ His doctor believed him therefore let him be discharged, but only on the condition that he came for a check up in a weeks time and spoke to a councillor then.

_But he lied._

The next day when the Doctor arrived back at his flat, was when Amy and Rory began a router of living with him at his place for the next few weeks. He was never to be left alone she'd instructed, the two of them taking alternate shifts at the restaurant to make sure someone was always with him. The Doctor didn't even protest as he still couldn't find it in himself to speak properly to Amy and Rory, so he just said nothing.

Amy wasn't even surprised it only took one day before he tried to take his life again.

This time she'd almost been expecting it. It was in the evening, the day after the day they returned back from hospital. She was making them both a cup of tea but the Doctor had run out of milk. Amy had checked her apartment to find that the only milk she had was a few days past its expiry date, so made a quick trip down to the local late shop to purchase a fresh carton.

How long was she gone? Fifteen minutes at the most.

As soon as she returned she could feel something was wrong. He'd moved from the sofa to start with, which is where she had ordered the Doctor to stay so she could keep an eye on him. Amy called his name, desperately searching around his flat, starting to panic. She finally located him. He'd locked himself in the bathroom and he wasn't replying.

Amy automatically knew there was something wrong; she could feel that ghastly aching arising in her abdomen again. After giving him warnings that she was coming in so he better be decent, she grabbed a chair from his dining table and smashed it through the door. Luckily it was only made of cheap wood, so it broke pretty easily. Unfortunately, it revealed an even more horrific site then a few days before.

It wasn't shock to Amy this time. It was anger. She was angry at herself for leaving him, she was angry at him for lying and she was angry at River for causing all this in the first place. The Doctor wasn't unconscious at least; he hadn't been given enough time. Amy quickly knelt down next to where he was on the floor leant over the bathtub, observing a large amount of blood was running off his arms and into the basin. One of his hands possessed a kitchen knife, which he dropped into the tub also as soon as Amy sat beside him. She hurriedly grabbed his arms to examine several large cuts he'd made across his wrists.

Fortunately they were large, but they weren't deep.

The Doctor rested his forehead on the side of the bath and began to cry, whilst Amy ran a small towel under the tap before holding it tightly to his wrists to stop the bleeding. He found yet again that he couldn't look her in the eye; however Amy was staring upon his expressions intensely.

She'd had enough of seeing him in this way, coping with so much agony and suffering. Which is why as she retrieved a first aid kit from the bathroom cabinet and wrapped bandages around his wounds, she tried to help him in the best way she could; by talking to him properly in the first time in days. Amy's raggedy Doctor needed mending.

_"I know this is hard. I know I have no idea what it must feel like for you but I know it's hard. I know you've been hurt and that you're broken. I know it must feel like the end of the world. She was your sun and you feel like nothing without her here. Life simply isn't worth living. But you're wrong, Doctor. You're so very wrong. Because even though she meant the world to you, the world doesn't stop turning just because she's not here. You have so many friends which love you and care for you such as Rory and I and we can't bare to watch you like this. We simply can't. Because it's killing us too, watching you suffer makes a part of us feel like it's dying also."_

_Her voice was shaking as she spoke but she was trying fiercely not to let it crack._

_"The world is so much more than River. One day you'll see this, but River is just a tiny part of your life which you've still got so much more of ahead of you. It's humiliating, I know, especially since it's him she left you for. But killing yourself isn't the answer. It's never the answer. It's giving up and it's admitting defeat. It's the easy way out. But you're strong and I know you can do this, I know you can hold your head up high and keep on living. You need to prove to her and to yourself that you aren't a coward and you can keep going no matter what life throws at you. It seems like the hardest thing to do but you'll have Rory and I there the whole way to help you through it. You're not alone Doctor, you have so much to live for. You're 25 and have your whole life ahead of you. You'll meet someone else, someone perfect for you, who will make you truly happy and show you how amazing life really is. You'll do so many more brilliant things, accomplish so much. So much that you'd miss out on doing if you left us. _

_Which is why you need to get through this. It's tough but I know you can do it. You can show everyone how brave you really are. But this needs to stop, right now. Because the more you do this to yourself, the weaker you become."_

_"But I am a coward. I couldn't even kill myself, I couldn't bring myself to fully go through with it, either of the times." He'd finally replied with an anxious whisper after a long thoughtful pause._

_"That's because you're strong and you know you have something to live for. That's how you know there's something worth it in life, because it's stopping you from leaving."_

_"I'm sorry. I've been so selfish and I'm sorry. I know you're right…but I'm finding it so difficult. I feel like I'm suffocating and I can't breathe and I just want it to stop right now."_

_"Without haste is how you mend a broken heart, as the wounds take time to heal."_

_He wasn't sure if she was talking about the wounds of his broken heart or the wounds upon his wrists. _

_He later decided both._

The next day he saw his councillor, who he then met with regularly for several weeks before they decided the appointments were no longer needed. 2 weeks later he went back to work as planned. 1 month later he began smiling and laughing again. 3 months and he'd started to forget. 1 year and it was as if he was fully back to his old self once more.

He didn't try to take his life another time because Amy was right.

He had something left to live for.

-x-

He held his head in his hands as he remembered. The Doctor had made himself forget about that horrific week of his life. He still felt ashamed now, 2 years later, but for an entirely different reason. Because he now saw exactly what Amy meant; there's so much more to life then River and he felt so stupid when realising there was a time where he thought there wasn't.

He was the one that had been strong when River had taken the cowards way out and look how far he'd come. When Amy told him to have a long, hard think about whether he should see her again and remember how devastated he was, she was referring to those few days in particular. She knew that he'd forgotten, or at least, was refusing to remember what he'd gone through during that time.

Because when something that bad happens to you, that you feel so distressed and disgusted for what you have done to hurt yourself and those around you...sometimes the minds only way of coping is by turning those moments into fuzzy dark voids which appear impossible to recollect. That is, until something striking enough arises to cause them all to come flooding back.

The Doctor was so thankful to Amy for hundreds of things, his life being one of them. Because not only did she want the Doctor to remember how devastated he felt, but she wanted him to remember how devastated he'd caused her to feel too. Amelia Pond was like his guardian angel and if he got hurt once more, then so would she. That part was the most painful, knowing he'd caused her grief, because she had been that something his life was worth living for and he never wanted to see her suffer again.

For that reason, as he was sat there on the old bench in the middle of that big vacant park, he_ asked himself the question that she'd advised him to answer._

_ Do you actually want to see her and risk yourself feeling like that again?_

And the answer of course, was _no_.

The Doctor suddenly felt a drip of water hit his tweed coat and before he knew it, there were even more raindrops falling heavily from the large storm cloud covering the sky. He'd made his decision, it was time to go.

He slowly got to his feet and began walking, letter still in hand, out of the field and home to the warmth of his flat. It was raining harder as he paced down the street, soaking his hair so his fringe clung to his forehead in a wet mop. Despite this, he paused in front of the public waste bin outside his block of flats, summoning the courage he'd never had before to throw the letter away. He found it felt satisfying as it left his fingertips, like he was finally releasing the last piece of her he hadn't realised he'd still been clinging onto for so long.

However now, the Doctor had to focus on the person he'd done all this thinking for in the first place. Amy was spot on yet again, as he _had_ met someone else, someone perfect for him who makes him truly happy.

And he needed to find a way to make things right with Clara, before he risked losing her forever.

_Let the rain come down_

_Now waking to the sun_  
_I calculate what I had done_  
_Like jumping from the bow _  
_Just to prove that I knew how_  
_It's midnight's late reminder of_  
_The loss of her, the one I love_  
_My will to quickly end it all_  
_Set front row in my need to fall_

_Into the ocean, end it all_

* * *

***A/N**: I hope what you saw what I meant when reading this, comments much appreciated.

So as I promised, hear is my list of Whouffle AU's which are definitely worth you reading because they are huge favourites of mine: _**(in no particular order)**_

1. _Nuclear Seasons_ by frombluetored: s/9416803/1/Nuclear-Seasons

(Doctor/Nurse AU) This AU is brilliant. The quality of writing is the best of any fanfiction author I've ever read and the storyline constantly has me on the edge of my seat. It deserves so much more credit so please read this story and leave a review for the amazing author.

2. _Wednesdays_ by sisypheandreamer: s/9326197/1/Wednesdays

(Coffee Shop AU) Even though this is only a short AU, I absolutely loved it. It was written superbly, each moment was perfectly conveyed and I found myself crying at the end. Definitely worth reading.

3. _The IT Guy _by Azkabella: s/9339619/1/The-IT-Guy

(Office AU) I love this, if you haven't read it already, I'd seriously recommend it.

4. _Casting Lines _by Spirit-Animal-Jade: s/9411725/1/Casting-Lines

(Primary School Teacher AU) This is getting really really good so you should definitely check it out, however it is quite a slow updater so be prepared to wait a while.

5. _Sauvé _by Possibly a Smidge Weird: s/9481043/1/Sauv%C3%A9

(Oswin Survives AU) I can't wait for the next chapter of this!

6. _His Helping Hand_ by lifewithdaleks: s/9484877/1/His-Helping-Hand

(Bookshop AU) I can't believe this fic has finished! I love love love loved this and it needs more credit! Please check this out.

And lastly, this fic isn't a Whouffle AU but a Matt/Jenna AU, which I know some people feel uncomfortable reading because they are real people, but this fanfic is seriously so good you _need _to read it. The storyline is so well thought out and so much time and effort has gone into it, as well as frequent updates and amazing plot twists! It will leave you dying for more:

7. _If Time Could Heal_ by Kosovaheartland: s/9511863/1/If-Time-Could-Heal

So that's the end of my all-time favourite AU's, but I also have lots of other great ones on my favourites list on my profile, so check those out too! Hope this helped!


	9. Life Changing

*A/N: as always, I'm so sorry this ended up being posted so much later then promised. I forgot to check fanfiction for a few days and it was only yesterday night I realised I still hadn't finished the chapter! Woops!

Anyway, thank you so so much for the reviews as always! I got 30 reviews for chapter 8 which is sooo amazing! I love you guys! Please keep telling me what you think of the story, it keeps me motivated. I have a little free time this weekend for writing, so I'll post chapter 10 by monday as a **_big_** thankyou, because I'm not sure how often I'm going to be able to update next week, so I'm going to start writing up chapters a couple in advance so you get them even more regularly :) (so you don't have like 2 week intervals between chapters)

Answer to reviewer AndyPandy23: yes I am in my spare time, but betareading may be delayed at the moment due to coursework I have and writing this, but it depends, PM me.

Also, I'd love to widen the amount of readers I have for this fic (even though there are already so many of you which have followed, favourites and reviewed, you're amazing) So if you are a doctor who fic writer yourself (doesn't matter what kind of fic it is) I was thinking we could do a shoutout exchange? I give your fic a shoutout in my next authors note and you give me one in yours? idk if anyone's interested send me a PM x

Anyways, enough of my wittering, enjoy the chapter! This one is also quite long...can't say you'll enjoy it but it's key to the storyline...and if you're not screaming by the end I've failed as a author ;) hahaha, that's all I'm going to say. Happy reading*

* * *

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 9: Life Changing**

Out of all the dates Clara has had in her life, she decided that last nights was definitely the worse.

_By far._

Was it even a date to him? She didn't know. It's not as if the Doctor had done a great job of explaining anything to her. All she picked up on is that yes, he had been ignoring her and yes, he had spent the whole evening thinking about another woman. That was the part which made her feel the most sick.

Once she'd left the Doctor alone in that alleyway, Clara had wanted to go home and just cry her eyes out in frustration. Preferably, curled up on the sofa with a tub of Ben and Jerry's. However, Clara Oswald wasn't the sort of woman which let her guard down like that so easily. She already angry at herself for being such an idiot by letting some sobs slip out whilst having her confrontation with the Doctor. So instead she got home and crawled into bed, before drifting off to sleep telling herself the same thing over and over again. _You don't need him, Clara. Just forget about him and move on. _

But she knew no matter how hard she tried to convince herself of that, she couldn't.

She woke up to the sound of her alarm buzzing hysterically on the dresser beside her and howled a muffled groan into her pillow. Her head felt as if it was pounding and she was absolutely dreading work today because she knew the Doctor would be doing the same shift. She didn't want to go in, more than anything she wanted to pick up the phone and call in sick. But she knew if she did the Doctor would think she'd done it because she wasn't up to seeing him after last night. Clara was much stronger than that.

So she heaved herself out of bed and got ready for work, taking an ibuprofen for her awful headache and trying her best to push the worries of the Doctor out of her head. Nonetheless, on her bus journey to work that morning she felt herself getting twitchier in her seat as she drew closer to the restaurant. What was she going to do working around him all day?

As the bus pulled up to the stop nearest the Restaurant she hoped off and made a quick decision. She would just ignore him. It was his own fault anyway, she concluded, for being so ignorant yesterday. She didn't care if it seemed childish, she felt too worn out for another argument. So Clara decided she'd continue doing that until the Doctor made up his mind. If he ever made up his mind...

However, as it turned out, she needn't have worried about him anyway, as when she got to work, she was confused when the kitchen was empty. Clara knew that the Doctor always turned up to work early and only didn't come in when he had a dentist appointment or a holiday. Not long after she entered, Amy walked into the kitchen after her, looking quite anxious.

"Clara! What on earth happened last night?!" She demanded. "You both left without telling us anything and the Doctor won't answer my calls!"

"Oh woops, sorry." Clara mumbled. She'd completely forgotten she'd left the restaurant without saying a final farewell to Amy and Rory. Although, she was somewhat surprised that the Doctor didn't say goodbye before he went. "The Doctor and I…we've decided to stop seeing each other."

"What?!" Amy exclaimed in shock. "But you can't, you're perfect for eachoth-"

"No, Amy. We're not. He was too busy paying attention to some other woman the whole night and hardly exchanged a word with me. Do you know how that makes me feel? Then when I asked him about it, he wouldn't tell me what was wrong and kept saying he was 'confused'. What the hell was that supposed to mean?!"

"No! Clara, you don't understand…"

Clara almost tore her hair out in frustration. "Then somebody bloody make me understand! Because I know there was something going on last night which I obviously didn't know about and the Doctor refused to tell me. So go on, tell me what's wrong. Tell me what I don't understand. Because as far as I'm concerned until I do understand, the Doctor and I are over. Not that we even started, mind you."

Amy sighed, battling with herself trying to decide whether she should tell Clara anymore then the Doctor had done. But she knew she couldn't. The Doctor was her best friend and this was his secret, so if he didn't want to tell it, she couldn't either. "I-I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't."

Clara shook her head and began walking across the kitchen to go organise the table placements. "Yeah, thought so."

"But Clara!" Amy pestered as she followed her across the kitchen. "What actually happened? Where did the Doctor go afterwards?"

Clara started wrapping the cutlery into napkins and Amy stood beside her helping. "When we went outside we started arguing. He told me he'd been thinking about this ex of his and was confused. That he couldn't tell me what was wrong. I got angry and told him we were over until he made up his mind. Then I went home and left him there. I don't know where he went after."

Amy groaned and grabbed her phone before giving the Doctor a call, then hung up when it went to voicemail. "What's wrong with him? Where the hell is he?" She texted him again and then put her phone back into her pocket with a sigh.

It suddenly occurred to Clara that the Doctor could have possibly skipped work today just to avoid her. This just made her all the more annoyed at him. "Look, Amy, I'm sorry. But I can't keep waiting for him like this. It's gone on too long, I need to move on."

"But what if I just talked to him about it?"

"No! Amy, the Doctor is a grown man; he doesn't need you to make all of his decisions for him." Clara snapped. She then glanced up from her arrangements at Amy's face which looked rather hurt and her own instantly softened guiltily. "Look, I know you're just trying to help, but the Doctor needs to learn to manage this on his own. If he can't then that's just another reason why we can't be together."

There was a long pause as they both carried on working and Amy tried to think of something to say to change her mind. "I think you're making a big mistake."

"Then on my head be it." Clara knew her tone was a little harsh, but had truthfully had enough. There was swiftly an uncomfortable tension between the two as there had been the night before, so when Rose and Donna soon arrived followed by Rory, Martha and a late Adam, Clara decided it was best to not make much conversation with Amy for the rest of the day. Maybe it would make things a little easier for the time being.

It was only when she was having her mid-morning coffee break alone in the staffroom that she realised the other members of staff were picking up on her troubled mood.

Rose wandered into the room and made herself a coffee, giving Clara, who was staring into space, the odd glance as if wondering whether to make conversation. In the end, she thought she might as well. "You alright Clara?"

"Mm?" Clara snapped out of her daydream and turned to face Rose.

"I said, you alright? I hope you don't mind me saying but you don't seem yourself this morning."

Clara let out a deep breath and shrugged. "I dunno, it's just…actually no, don't worry, it's nothing important."

Rose came and sat on the counter beside her. "It's about the Doctor isn't it?" Clara was surprised at her correct guess and gave a small nod. "I know that look. It's the thinking about men look. You can talk to me about it if you want, I don't mind."

Clara gave her polite smile before continuing. "We went on a date last night and he ignored me the whole time because he was thinking about some other woman. Then he told me he was confused which is why he wouldn't start a relationship with me, so I ended it. I didn't want to, but I had to, you know? I felt like I was getting led on. But, I can't stop thinking about him…was it the right thing to do?"

Rose listened carefully as she drunk her coffee. "Yeah, I get it. I think that was a good decision Clara, really I do. You don't want to be involved in something like that. He's messing you around."

Clara nodded and looked down into her coffee sadly. "I hope Amy's wrong. I hope I haven't made a mistake."

Rose smiled sympathetically. "You really like him, don't you?"

"Yeah, how stupid am I?"

"Hey you're not stupid! You just need to get over him. Trust me, we've all been there."

Clara looked Rose straight in the eye cluelessly. "But how do I just get over him just like that?"

Rose hesitated thoughtfully. "Go on a date with someone else, someone who actually wants to be there."

Clara smirked. "Yeah, like that would work. Who else would actually want to go on a date with me?"

Rose frowned and gave her a look of disbelief. "You are joking right?"

"What?"

"You do know that Adam has a_ huge_ crush on you?"

Clara almost choked on her coffee. "What?!"

"He's been wanting to ask you out for ages but wasn't sure if you and the Doctor were an item or not. Everybody knows about this. I thought you picked up on it too!"

"Well I didn't!"

"You should ask him out for a drink, it'll show the Doctor that you're over him."

Clara sipped her coffee nervously. "I'm not sure that'd be a good idea…I mean Adam's nice and all…but I'm not sure I'm ready to just go on a date with another guy straight away."

"But it's only a few drinks. There's no harm in just going on a date and getting to know him. You never know, there could be a spark between you two that you never knew existed."

Clara wasn't so sure. Adam wasn't a bad guy… maybe a bit unreliable when it came to working hours, but he was very intelligent. He was working part time at Restaurant TARDIS whilst finishing his master's degree at university. She guessed he was quite funny, nice looking and sweet…but he was nothing special. _He wasn't the Doctor. _But then again, maybe this would show the Doctor that she wasn't waiting around for him and she did have other things going on in her life. Maybe Rose was right, maybe this would be good for her.

"And you're _sure_ this is a good idea?" Clara questioned sceptically.

"Positive. He'll be taking his break in a minute, when he comes in ask him if he's free tomorrow night."

Clara chuckled. "Okay, okay. I guess you're right. What's the worst that could happen?"

Nevertheless, Clara was still a little surprised when she asked Adam if he wanted to go for a drink with her on Monday night and he said yes, admitting that Rose was right and he had been wanting to ask her out for a while. Which left her thinking, _maybe this isn't such a bad idea after all._

-x-

The next day the Doctor got to work early determined to make things right with Clara. He'd been thinking about how to convince her she was what he wanted over and over in his head as he went to sleep the previous night, but as he waited in the kitchen for her to arrive he couldn't help but feel nervous about rejection. _What if she didn't accept his apology? What if she wanted time to herself? What if, worst case scenario, she decided that she never wanted to go on a date with him again?_

But when Clara did arrive, there were so many other staff in that day and so many parties booked into the Restaurant making it extremely busy, he didn't have the chance to pull her over to one side and talk to her. However, it only took a few hours for the Doctor to realise that Clara appeared to be ignoring him. She would only collect plates to take into the Restaurant that one of the other chefs had prepared, she wouldn't look in his direction, she wouldn't come near his work station and she deliberately postponed her coffee break just so it wouldn't clash with his.

At first the Doctor was slightly irritated at her attitude, finding it completely unnecessary and immature. But after a while he realised he was only to blame and he probably deserved to be ignored by her, as she'd been ignored by him only 2 days before.

It was only at 4 when Clara was finishing up her shift that the Doctor managed to catch her and decided he'd try and invite her back to his flat so they could talk. So as she was walking out of the door, the Doctor quickly caught her arm which caused her to jump around in surprise. "Doctor, not now, I need to-"

"No, Clara, please listen. I really need to talk to you." The Doctor begged. Clara sighed and stepped out of the doorway and on to the street to make room for the other few members of staff leaving the Restaurant.

"Doctor, I told you to come and talk to me when you were ready and because of the fact you couldn't even show up to work yesterday, I hardly doubt that's the case." She replied sternly, turning on her heal to walk to her bus stop, only to have her arm caught by the Doctor again.

"I had a hangover, I didn't feel well. But it gave me a chance to have a really long think about everything and-"

"A hangover? You hardly drank a thing last night. Or is that what you did when I left? Went and got bladdered all by yourself. Yeah, that really shows you're ready, doesn't it?" She interrupted sarcastically.

"That's not the point. The point is I know what I want now and I'm so sorry for being such an idiot the other night. Because I shouldn't have been thinking about her, I should have been thinking about you."

The words began to melt Clara's heart, slowly breaking down the tough exterior which she'd put up to try and stop this from happening. But she decided she wouldn't let him get to her like this. It there was something she wasn't ready for, it was all this again.

"It hasn't even been two days, how can I even begin to be sure whether you're actually going do something about it this time or if you're just going to humiliate me again?" She was trying her hardest to be cold and stern, but felt that horrible sensation building up in her throat where you know that you're almost near tears.

"Because in these 2 days I've thought more than I have in my entire life. You need to trust me Clara, please. Come back to mine now and we can talk about it, it's getting really cold out here." The Doctor realised he'd forgotten to put on his coat before coming out of the Restaurant to talk to Clara on the street, which meant he was now shivering as he was only wearing his chef's uniform.

"I don't have time. I'm going on a date tonight, it'll make me late. So if you don't mind, I'm going to go now before I miss my bus." Clara turned around to walk to her bus stop again, but this time the Doctor was too quick, using his long legs to jump in front of her to block her path.

"You're doing what?" Clara could hear his voice was shaky and instantly felt bad for bringing it up so abruptly.

"I'm going on a date tonight, for drinks, with Adam. Now I need to catch my bu-"

"A date? With Adam? I thought you said Adam was annoying and unreliable?!" The Doctor knew he sounded like a pestering child but he could feel his heart breaking. Had he really made things so bad between them that she'd already forgotten all about him and moved on?

"Yes, a date. And yes, with Adam. Well I was wrong if I said that, he's actually a really nice guy. Now I'm going to miss my-"

"But why?" He almost sounded like a whimpering puppy now, hurt and confused. Clara felt her throat ache even more because of this, so had to cough to try and clear it.

"I thought it would be nice to go on a date where the other person actually _wants_ to be there."

"That was one time!" The Doctor exclaimed, beginning to get angry now from the sudden news.

"Doctor, please, I need to get my bus. I'll talk to you about it some other time. I need to go, see you tomorrow." With that Clara ran past him and down to her bus stop quickly, only just catching her bus before it left the stop. The whole way there she could feel the pain in her throat worsen causing her to have to fiercely blink away her now watery eyes and an aching sensation in her chest arise. She wasn't sure how long it would take to get over him.

After Clara went to go and catch her bus, the Doctor felt himself become awfully upset and enraged. He ran inside to grab his things before hurriedly rushing home, not even bothering to say goodbye to his colleagues as he usually did.

When he finally got back to his flat he fell onto his sofa and let out a loud frustrated cry, burying his head in his hands. On one hand he knew he was to blame for this. It was his fault he'd been so hesitant to be with Clara in the first place which had caused this dreadful outcome. But on the other hand, he was angry at her for moving on so quickly._ Did she even have feelings for me at all or did she just make it all up? _He wondered_. Is she doing this deliberately to mess with my head?_

He got up from his seat and stormed into the kitchen, with a sudden fit of rage pushing everything on one of the counters onto the kitchen tiles forcefully to let off some steam. The Doctor then slammed his fists on the work surface, before realising that none of this fury was any use. He leant his elbows on the counter and put his head in his hands again letting out a few more sobs. _How could she do this? How could she mess with my heart?_

He eventually straightened up and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to regain composure. The Doctor knelt on the floor and gathered up the things that had been on that counter which he threw onto the ground. _An empty carton of milk he'd meant to take down to the recycling bins outside, an egg timer, a newspaper, a couple of soufflé recipes he'd been experimenting with for the Restaurant TARDIS dessert menu and…_

He stood up and chucked the rest of the items back onto the counter carelessly, then unfolded this scrunched up piece of paper he'd found amongst them. He groaned when he realised what it was. Why had he forgotten to chuck this one out too?

River's letters always seemed to end up hanging around somehow. He forgot this one. The one she'd left him on their wedding day had been safely deposited into a public waste bin, but this one, the one she'd sent him by post alerting the Doctor of her arrival, had been lying around the kitchen worktops for days since being opened.

He sighed and walked towards his bin, about to throw it away. But then out of the corner of his eye he caught one of the lines on the page_. …I'm arriving on December 7__th__. Call me on the number at the top of the page; it's important that I see you… _The Doctor couldn't help but pause to check the date on his mobile phone. As he thought, today was December 7th.

The brighter side of his brain was giving him the impulse to throw the letter away. Throw it away and never have to think about it again. But the slightly more emotionally conflicted side was reading the letter over and over again suddenly making the Doctor unsure of whether he should ignore this message River had sent.

He'd done all this thinking for Clara. Reliving his past had all been for her, but it felt to him right now as if she'd thrown it back in his face. It hadn't been her fault of course, she hadn't even known, but right now he wasn't thinking about that. He was mad at her for going on a date with Adam and he was unbelievably jealous to say the least. What did he have now he'd lost Clara too? What did he have to lose?

It was like an unstoppable force had taken over his mind, the jealousy, the anger and the heartbreak which he'd only conflicted on himself, almost causing the Doctor to forget the memories of yesterday. If he didn't have Clara, why did he care anymore? Why didn't he just see what River so badly wanted to tell him?

So he picked up his mobile phone again and dialled in the number at the top of the page, unknown to him yet that that phone call would be the most life changing of his entire existence.

-x-

Hearing her voice again had been a definite shock he hadn't been expecting. It sounded so familiar yet so ancient at the same time. So delighted yet so mysterious. The Doctor felt awkward, not really sure what to say. In conversation with River he realised she had stolen all of his confidence still, making him rather shy and her quite talkative.

She told him she was staying in a flat half an hour's drive away from his, closer to the edge of London. Her old flat had been sold a while back when she left, meaning she could no longer live closer. The Doctor ended up inviting her to his, telling River she had 20 minutes to say what she wanted to say before he never had to look at her again. She's agreed with no complaint over the phone which brought the Doctor back a bit of confidence he needed for this encounter.

But of course, it was never going to be the encounter he expected it to be.

She arrived about 3 quarters of an hour later and the Doctor quickly buzzed her up so she could get into the apartment building. This was just in case the situation occurred where Amy got back from her evening shift at work early, saw River and completely freaked out.

A couple of minutes later he heard knocking against his big blue door and suddenly the Doctor felt his heart pounding in his chest, anxiety racing through his veins. He was about to see the woman he hadn't seen for over 2 years since she left him at the alter and broke his heart. He no longer loved her, but it was a bit scary and daunting to see the face he used to know so well which he thought he'd never see again.

The Doctor slowly turned the handle and opened the door, to reveal her figure on the other side. But as he saw her for the first time in a long time, it wasn't her he found himself staring at open-mouthed, pure shock being the only expression on his face. His only thoughts being: _Can it? No…it can't be…it can't…_

Because his eyes were being drawn to a rather small toddler which was perched on River's hip instead, the infant's eyes big and wide, studying the Doctor intently. River looked from the Doctor to the baby, before speaking only a few words which were the answers to all of his unspoken questions…

"Luna, meet Daddy._"_

* * *

***A/N:** if you're a whoufflepuff and you're dying because the doctor and Clara aren't together yet and you feel like giving up...bare with me! There is so much more left to come...and it will be totally worth it...but I don't want to give anything away. You'll like the outcome I promise...but writers in real life make the couple getting together simple do they? ;)*

*oh yeah and I forgot to mention, cliff hanger ;)*


	10. The Uncertainty

***A/N: **hello again my lovelies, I hope you have all recovered from the dramatic ending to chapter 9 and are ready for a new action packed chapter! I received about 50/50 on the twist, half loved it and the other half have decided to run as far away from this fic as they can.

However, is the cliff hanger what you thought it to be? If you're about to give up on this fanfic or already have because of the baby bombshell, then I beg before you make your final decision that you read this one last chapter before you go TO THE EVERY END, as I think you'll be very pleasantly surprised...

This chapter is the beginning of the second mystery of the fanfiction and by the end you'll probably be so confused but chapter 11 will explain it all (maybe) ;)

For all those who believe that this is turning into a river/eleven fic, that is definitely NOT the case, as I'm using the character of River as a villain in this story, not his current love interest!

Anyway, thankyou so so much for the fantastic feedback as always. I got a bucketload of reviews for chapter9 which were very conflicted but I seriously appreciate you taking the time to write them, so if you have any comments on this chapter please let me know :)

I think that's all, I hope you enjoy the chapter ;) happy reading x

* * *

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 10: The Uncertainty**

The Doctor hadn't said much since River had arrived, but then again even without such a revelation she tended to have that sort of effect.

He'd been sat on the sofa watching Luna as she crawled around on the rug in front of the coffee table. He watched her as she played with a selection of brightly coloured toys that River had littered around the floor for her for about 10 minutes now. Luna appeared to be in her own little world, picking up a rattle and giggling when it made a jingling noise, or pressing buttons on various plastic music boxes to hear the sounds. Despite everything, the Doctor couldn't help but marvel at how incredibly fascinating it was to watch her little mind interact with the world. She appeared to be quite a calm, happy baby, not having cried once since arriving. However, she was old enough to walk, he noticed, as every few minutes she pulled herself onto her feet using his coffee table and tried to go for a wander, but the Doctor hastily directed her back onto the rug.

He could hear River clattering about in the kitchen behind him making them both a coffee. It was probably rude, he realised, letting her make it as soon as she was supposed to be the guest. But he hadn't exactly invited her round on friendly terms and she'd turned up and landed a complete bombshell…no actually, more of an atomic bomb, on his life.

He didn't know what to say at first, so she had just pushed her way through the door and he'd retreated to the sofa ever since, watching what she was claiming to be his first born child.

The Doctor wasn't sure how to feel. He was confused, shocked and speechless. Angry, cross and in disbelief. But a part of his mind was thinking; _if what she said is true, if this is in fact my child…I'm a father. I'm a Dad. _This could potentially be one of the most life changing moment of his life, even if the Mother had caused some of the most devastating.

He carried on watching Luna on the rug, observing her appearance carefully. She had big brown eyes, he detected. No…wait…there was some green in there too. They were hazel like his but darker. Her nose was slightly turned down at the end and she had round rosy cheeks. For a toddler she already had lots of wild curls but they were a deep brunette instead of a dirty blonde like River's. After a thorough evaluation the Doctor concluded this could easily be his or Harry's child, as her main features looked too similar to her Mother's so far to tell. Plus she was only young, he knew that children change so much in appearance in the first few years.

River finally walked back to the sofa and handed him a coffee mug, before sitting down the opposite side and crossing her legs. "I think I remembered the way you like it, lots of milk and sugar."

The Doctor didn't respond for a moment. He took a large sip of his coffee instead but forgot it was still scolding hot and accidently burnt his tongue. He muttered irritably to himself before finally bringing his eyes to look at her. "How old?"

"The coffee? I didn't check but-"

"You know who I mean." The Doctor interrupted sternly, eyeing where Luna was still playing on the floor.

"She's 19 months now."

The Doctor nodded, doing some maths in his head. So far he still couldn't be sure if her allegation was the truth or a lie.

"The name, Luna, why?" His question was blunt again, his voice firm.

"Luna Song, it means the song of the moon. I've always loved looking up at the stars. It's unique and I thought it was perfect for her."

The Doctor hesitated as he looked at the young child on the rug again, before deciding to make no comment. He just continued on with his questioning. "How do I know she's mine? How do I know that you're not just lying to me?"

River smiled watching her daughter carefully. The Doctor couldn't guess what she was thinking which gave him quite an uneasy feeling in his stomach. There was always a secretive element to River, a part of her he'd never been able to discover. The clockwork in her mind appeared to run different to anybody else he'd ever met. Every move she made surprised him, however almost every move she made now also angered him and he hated that. He hated not understanding someone and he hated being kept in the dark. The Doctor suddenly realised that this was why Clara had gotten so mad, because this is exactly how _she_ felt around him. He tried to shake off the guilt. It was beginning to weigh more and more on him each second, because it was _his_ fault he and Clara weren't together and he hated himself for that.

"I was 3 months around our wedding day, which means she was conceived when the Master-"

"Don't call him that." The Doctor interrupted harshly, which caught River slightly off guard.

"Right, sorry, I mean Harry and I had broken up for the time being. She's yours."

The Doctor shook his head. "But how do I know that's not a lie? How can I possibly believe you after all you've done? Actually, why are you even here anyway?!"

"I left Harry."

"Yeah, that's become quite obvious." The Doctor studied her. "Why are you here? If this baby was mine then you would have told me before. Why are you only telling me now that you and Harry have broken up?"

"Her name's Luna." River corrected before pausing thoughtfully for a moment. The Doctor thought he'd caught her out, but then she carried on. "When I found out I was pregnant I told Harry I didn't know whose it was, I thought if he found out it was definitely yours he would leave me. Thankfully, he said he didn't care as long as he had me, he'd raise it as hisown either way. But after Luna was born our relationship began to deteriorate. I realised I didn't want this, it was like everything had changed with us and I felt stupid…because I realised I'd much rather be with you. I shouldn't have left you. I was an idiot for doing so…"

The Doctor scoffed. "Oh, so that's why you're here. Amy was right, as soon as things don't work out with Harry you coming running back, expecting me to welcome you with open arms. But if you think that's the case, you've got another thing coming. I'm a very different man now and I've been through a hell of a lot because of you. I don't care what you have to say, I don't care if you try to blackmail me with a child. I'm never, ever getting back together with you River. You _ruined_ my life. I don't think you understand how devastating that is. I _loved_ you and you left me for Harry of all people. He was my arch enemy. We hated each other at high school and you knew that. He was always trying to win you over and take you away from me. In the end he managed didn't he? And you let him. And for all of these reasons I'm finding it hard to even be in the same room as you right now, because you deliberately hurt me. You knew of all these things and you deliberately humiliated me in front of everyone I knew. How do you expect me to just forgive you after all that?"

River was stunned into silence for a moment. The Doctor had been shouting towards the end of his speech, clenching his fists together so he didn't let his fury show and hurtle something across the room in front of Luna. He'd become feistier, grown in confidence and now it was River that didn't know what to say. "I don't. But I thought you should know about Luna. She's your baby, your child. You deserved to know about her."

"Stop saying that!" The Doctor yelled, causing Luna to look up at him from her toys a little fearfully. "She's not mine! I can't believe that she's mine. Give me proof. Give me a DNA test…or something. I don't know, I just can't believe she's mine…she doesn't even look like me!"

River smiled that enigmatic smile again which made the Doctor want to scream in frustration. "Oh, but she does. The hazel eyes, intelligent and glowing, they appear wise like yours at such a young age. She's so intelligent, so bright, so…you. I can see you in her. I can see you in her every day."

"Stop, just stop."

"But I do. Don't you see it? She's your daughter. She's-"

"Shut up." The Doctor cut in sharply. "She's not mine. I can't believe she's mine until I have medical proof."

"You don't _need_ medical proof. You're just denying it."

"River, I'm not believing this. I can't trust you, I will never be able to trust you again. The sooner you learn that the better."

"But you see it. I know you do, in the eyes. I know you believe this is true. I know it-"

"Get out." The Doctor interrupted again, placing his mug on the coffee table, rising to his feet and gesturing towards the door. "Just get out, right now."

"But Doctor, this is your-"

"I said get out!" He bellowed, this time the volume of his voice was so loud he trigged Luna to sob.

"Now look what you've done!" River exclaimed, placing her mug on the table also before kneeling to the floor and scooping Luna up in her arms. She rested Luna on her hip and rocked her soothingly, managing to calm her cries.

"What the hell is going on?!"

The Doctor and River spun round to see Amy in the doorway, let in by her own key. Her jaw was dropped in shock, eyes wide and her hands on her dainty hips. "What the hell is _she_ doing here and who the hell is that?!"

"What are _you_ doing here?" The Doctor threw back at her. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

Amy advanced towards them slowly. "Vastra and Jenny closed the Restaurant early because they thought one of the ovens had a gas leak. Everyone got sent home. I heard you shouting from downstairs. Now answer my question, what is she doing here?!"

"I called her." The Doctor muttered shamefully.

"You idiot." Amy groaned, before indicating towards Luna. "Now who's that?"

"His daughter." River interjected, earning an aggressive glare from Amy, who then turned back to the Doctor.

"Please tell me she's joking."

"I don't know." The Doctor replied uncertainly. "I'm not sure I believe her but…there's a possibility."

Amy's face became even redder with fury as she tried to contain herself. "Doctor, can you take the child from River for a moment please?" The Doctor and River both frowned perplexedly.

"Why?" He queried.

"Just do it."

River tentatively handed Luna over to the Doctor who held her awkwardly, unsure of how close or at what angle to hold this baby that could possibly be his own. Although, he wasn't preoccupied by this trail of thought for long, as the next thing he knew Amy had stepped forward in front of River and slapped her hard across the face. River winced at the pain to her right cheek and grabbed the sore skin with her hand immediately.

Amy stepped back and took a deep breath, then gave a directive nod towards the Doctor signalling that he should hand the baby back. He did obediently. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"I'm sorry Amy. I'm so sorry for leaving you without saying anything, I regret it terribly." River managed to choke out.

"That wasn't just for leaving me. It was for leaving him too. You're a bitch. An absolute-"

"Don't swear like that in front of Luna." River demanded.

Amy rolled her eyes before changing the subject quickly. "Do you mean it? Is she his? Or are you just trying to destroy his life again?"

The Doctor drew his eyes to River carefully. There was a slight break which he noticed before she began to talk and her voice sounded somewhat put on. Too him, it appeared almost _too_ convincing. "She's his, I swear."

But to the Doctor her words meant nothing anymore. She lies, he'd learnt that the hard way. When he asked her to marry him and she said that yes, she wanted to, she lied. When she told him she loved him, that she wanted to be with him forever, she lied. River was so good at lying, so familiar with it, that he could no longer trust anything she had to say. Words to her meant nothing, no matter whether she swore she was telling the truth, the words were just there for effect. It's easy to lie because nobody ever knows what you're truly thinking. However, if you know someone for a while you begin to learn there traits and once you know them well enough it's easier to pick up on some of their thought patterns. It's easier to tell if they are lying. This is why the Doctor majorly doubted River, because after what he's been through he knows when to be suspicious.

"I won't believe you until you look me in the eye and say it. Look me straight in the eye and tell me that again. If you can, I'll believe you. If you can't, you better get your arse straight out of that door." Amy carried on.

River directed her eyes straight up into the taller woman's as confidently as she could. "She's the Doctor's, I promise."

But there it was again, the Doctor noticed. This time her voice sounded a little scratchy and she diverted her gaze away from Amy's as soon as she could.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the 3 so Amy stepped back from her intimidating stance. "If I find out you're lying I swear to god-"

"I'm not. I want Luna to be with her Father." However, this time River seemed awfully sincere so the Doctor's mind was torn. Was this baby really his? He couldn't be sure. He was cautious, unsure what to believe, not entirely certain whether River was lying. If this _was_ his daughter he wanted to be with her, he wanted to see her grown up. He wanted his child to have 2 parents, a life that he had never had after being brought up in lots of different children's homes and foster homes. He wanted his baby to have a Dad. A Dad she knew and a Dad who cared for her. He didn't know what to do.

Should he make River leave and tell her he doesn't want to see her or the baby again? In doing so risking the loss of a person who could be his only offspring…Or should he go along with her allegations for now and get a DNA test in the meantime just to be sure? The second seemed like his only option.

"I want to be with her Father." River continued.

Amy shot the Doctor an alarming look. "If you get back together with her then I'll never speak to you ever again...And I'm not joking in the slightest."

The Doctor vigorously shook his head. "I've already explained to her that we're never getting back together. No, here's what's going to happen. I don't know why I'm doing this, but for the time being I'm going to believe you, River. If this is my daughter I want to see her every waking day and if that means I have to see you too, then I'm going to have to grin and bare it. For the time being until I get DNA results you're going to move out of that little room in that flat several miles away and stay here in my spare room. If you won't let me get them done then you're out. If they come back negative then you're out, understood?"

River and Amy looked rather gobsmacked. "And if they come back positive?" River asked.

"Then we'll have to deal with that when the time comes." The Doctor decided.

"_If_ the time comes." Amy corrected. "You're not actually going to let her live here are you? You hate her guts… _I _hate her guts."

"I know I do, but I'm putting that aside as soon as she's turned up on my doorstep with someone who might be my baby. So, River, do we have a deal?"

River glanced from Amy to the Doctor. The Doctor was sure he saw unexpected anxiety flash in her eyes for a second, she was nervous. Meaning he'd done exactly what he'd aimed to do, he'd finally caught her off guard. He'd seen her panic, just for the shortest amount of time, but he'd seen it. However, by this point there was nothing else River could say but, "Yes, we do."

She was about as uncertain as he was.

-x-

It was nice, Clara decided. Her date with Adam was nice, but it wasn't anything special. It wasn't as fun or as great as one with the Doctor, but it was nice. And at the moment, nice was good enough. They had a laugh, she guessed. Adam was less defensive then the Doctor she'd recognised quickly, after only a few drinks at the nightclub they went to and he was already telling her about everything that was going on in his life…and she found herself doing the same. He talked all about his Master's at university, his annoying over-protective Mother and his knack for never turning up anywhere on time. She talked about her search for a teacher training job, leaving Angie and Artie and her crumby little flat. Clara tried her hardest to make sure the Doctor wasn't mentioned, that would only make things really awkward...plus she was _supposed_ to be over him.

They had a quick dance afterwards before deciding to go home as she had work the next morning and he had classes, saying goodbye at the doors of the club before going their separate ways. They agreed it would be nice to do it again sometime, as it hadn't been bad at all. But again it was just nice. Pleasant, enjoyable maybe, but there was nothing spectacular between them. No spark like they'd been with the Doctor and no butterfly feeling in her tummy. Nevertheless, at an attempt to get over him, she didn't mind dating second best.

She ended up getting a lie in the next morning, as Vastra called saying they were having the kitchen health and safety checked one last time before the staff were allowed back in. She arrived just after lunch and with it not being a very busy day it was just her, Donna, Strax, Martha and Jack, as the Doctor was working the evening shift.

Donna was already there when Clara arrived and appeared to be buzzing with news to tell her.

"Oh my god Clara, you'll never of guessed what I heard this morning!" Donna exclaimed as Clara walked into the kitchen.

Clara chuckled, now very used to Donna's gossiping which had caused her to learn a lot of peculiar information about her co-workers. "What's that?"

Donna took a deep breath. "Well, Amy texted Rory, who texted Jack, who texted Strax, who texted Mickey, who texted Martha, who texted Sarah Jane, who texted Rose, who texted Jackie who texted me..." She paused to gasp for breath.

Clara rolled her eyes. "What?"

"Well apparently, the Doctor has got back with his psycho ex, they're living together and they have a BABY!"

"WHAT?!" Clara couldn't help but sound accidently alarmed by the news. So it had been true, he had lied, he had wanted to get back together with her. And a baby? The Doctor had a child and he never even told her? She couldn't believe this was all happening, but on the other hand was relieved that she'd left him when she did. But wait, only yesterday evening he'd almost been _begging_ her to get back together with him. None of this made any sense… "Are you sure that's true?"

"That's what Jackie texted me this morning. I don't know, text Amy if you want to know the details. I can't believe this, this is the best gossip I've heard since Jack woke up with memory loss, stark-naked in that strip club!"

Clara and Donna then heard an annoyed, "Hey! Don't tell her that!" From the other side of the kitchen, which in despite of the circumstances caused them both to laugh.

They then started working, but Clara couldn't stop thinking about what Donna had said. She didn't know if it was true, but couldn't bring herself to text Amy as it would seem as if she was still into him, which she couldn't let her think if the Doctor actually had got back together with this woman. But she felt hurt. She felt hurt and even more humiliated. Because she trusted the Doctor, she thought he was special and brilliant…but he just appeared to have told her a pack of lies. This just made her feel angry. So she decided she'd see if the Doctor caught her when he arrived for his shift at the end of hers…and if he did then she'd confront him then. If he didn't, there was a strong chance she wouldn't be able to talk to him again.

But of course, he did.

Clara bumped straight into him as she was walking out of the door and the Doctor immediately stopped to talk to her. "Clara, can I…there's something I need to talk to you about." He stuttered nervously as he looked down into her big, chocolate brown eyes. The Doctor noticed as soon as he stopped her that she looked quite hurt, her eyes were wider than usual and she was fighting her lips to stop them from dropping down at either end. _She still looks beautiful_, he thought as she let him lead her outside as they'd done the day before. _But Clara Oswald always looks impossibly beautiful._ The Doctor realised he didn't even feel embarrassed thinking about that anymore, there didn't seemed to be any point in denying it to himself.

As soon as they were outside Clara began to speak. "If you're going to tell me that you've got back together with your ex and you have a baby, then I already know, Donna told me."

Her words were cold and stunned the Doctor considerably. "What?! I'm not getting back together with River! That's absurd!"

"Then how come everyone's been saying you're living together?!"

"Ah, yes, well, that's only temporary. A couple of weeks tops. And she's staying in the spare room." The Doctor muttered.

"Because you have a baby? Why didn't you tell me?" Clara felt her voice begin to break as she tried not to show how upset she was, but she knew that the Doctor noticed. What she didn't know is that it completely broke his heart.

"I didn't know! Actually…I still don't even know if it's mine. I only found out yester-"

"I don't believe you." She interrupted sharply, feeling her eyes sting with tears.

"Clara, I swear I didn't know. She's just staying with me until I get a DNA-"

"I don't believe you. I mean how can I? You promised me you weren't getting back together with her. You promised. God, I'm so glad I ended this before it even started…"

"I'm not! Clara, she just landed this huge bombshell on me and I thought you should know…"

"Why would I care?" Clara replied harshly, which caused the Doctor's face to fall even further. She watched and instantly felt a little bad for being so severe.

"Because, it there's anybody I actually _want_ to be with…it's you."

As soon as he said it Clara felt those familiar butterflies begin to flutter inside of her stomach, reminding her of all those happy memories of dates with the Doctor. Even though nothing ever happened towards their relationship, she still cherished those blissful moments with him before any of this drama started. In fact, she wished more than anything she could go back to one of those moments now and do something about it. Maybe then everything would be different. "Doctor, you've just found out you have a baby…"

"I _might_ have a baby. But I'm pretty confident now that she's lying it's mine." The Doctor tried to persuade her, but Clara just crossed her arms defensively.

"Obviously not confident enough, seeing as she's staying in your flat with you."

The Doctor sighed. "She'll be gone in a few weeks as soon as I get this test done. Please Clara, you need to believe-"

"Doctor, if there's a chance that this is your kid you need to sort it out, not come running to me claiming that you know it's not yours with no proof…"

"But Clara-"

"No, Doctor. I can't be dealing with this. Our lives have gotten too complicated…I mean, I'm going on another date with Adam and you…you've got a mess on your hands." She stated, trying not to let her sadness show.

"I'd do anything to get you to forgive me and put this all behind us. I mean it, I'd do anything." The Doctor admitted. He subconsciously reached forward and took her hand, which Clara actually let him hold it for a few moments before remembering the situation they were in and shaking him off.

"I told you to come back to me when you were sure what you wanted, but don't you understand? You're still not sure what you want. You can't decide whether you want a family or me…" Clara glanced at her watch. "Shit, I'm going to miss my bus."

She started running away from him without a goodbye, but hesitated momentarily when the Doctor called. "When I find out what I want, you'll be the first to know." She knew the hidden meaning to that was he wasn't talking about her, he was talking about the test.

It killed the Doctor as he watched her run down the road to catch her bus. He so badly knew what he wanted, however it was both so close to him yet so far out of his reach. From that day onwards he started his plan, the plan he'd devised to put everything right and fight to get her back.

Because on that day she became his Clara…simply as when she ran away, he knew she'd taken his heart with her.

-x-

It didn't arrive for over a week.

His plan was tricky but doable. The tricky part was River. The Doctor's speculations that River was lying seemed to increase each day. She was edgier and even more guarded then when she first arrived. Definitely more weary and shy. The anxiety was still there, he was sure of it. However, when he told Amy about these speculations, she appeared to be a lot less convinced. She told him that maybe he was just trying to convince himself of this because he so badly wanted it to be a lie. He wanted his problems to go away so he could get his life with Clara back, the one he decided he wanted the most…and the one that wouldn't be the same if there was a baby in the way.

He needed a DNA test, but the hospital had refused to do one for various reasons, so his only option was to order one, do the tests himself and send it back to the lab. The hardest part of this plan? He didn't want River to know.

When the Doctor made that deal with River, he made it specifically so he could get to see his possible child. But now that River was around and he had these speculations, he realised he couldn't order a DNA test with her knowing. She could easily mess with the swabs or get to the results before he did and change them somehow. River was clever, incredibly clever, but also very ruthless. The Doctor knew she could definitely be planning these sorts of things in her head and these days he had no idea what she was capable of.

So he let her believe he forgot about the test…or at least was putting it off. This was easy to do as he was so busy working long shifts at work because it was Christmas time, they hardly ever talked. Most days he spent all his time dashing in and out of the house, pretending River wasn't even there. Living under the same roof as her gave him the creeps. She was like a cockroach that had infested his home and he wanted her exterminated as soon as possible.

Therefore, he went online, ordered it himself and it arrived over a week later in his mailbox. He waited until River went out to do some shopping a few days after, managing to discreetly persuade her to leave Luna alone with him. He did the test as quickly as he could, getting swabs of the insides of each of their cheeks before putting them in the provided packets and sealing them up. He then had to wait again for River to come back home before lying that he had to pop down to the late shop, so he could actually take the envelope containing the samples to the nearest post box. After spending most of the only day he had off work that week gathering the results, he'd finally got them. He'd finally go the truth in his hands; although he still had to wait a few more weeks until he knew what that was.

-x-

It was a dark, cold and damp evening. The sky was black as night, even though it was only 7 o'clock and the pavements of the street were wet with the heavy rain that had been showering London for most of the day. But he was no stranger to the streets around here; it had just been a long time since he'd visited.

The man paced down the pavement slowly, walking only in the shadows as he went. His dark hood draped over his face making him almost invisible to anybody else that could be out on the streets with him. He didn't want to be seen because he was there to spy, but he was also there to wait.

He finally reached his destination, standing before him on the other side of the road was a two-story block of flats. This was the building he knew she'd return to. He knew that she would definitely be there.

But it was not her which this man was waiting for. For the man _this_ man was in search for exited the flats at that very moment, causing the hooded man to fall further into the shadowy night in case he was discovered.

The man who left the flats then walked briskly up the road, as he did so, pulling a large white envelope from the inside pocket of his purple tweed coat. The hooded man in the shadows started to follow him to the end of the street to where the man in tweed stopped at a large red post box. He wavered slightly before dropping the envelope into the slot and turning on his heel to head back to the apartments where he had just come from.

Yet, the man in the shadows did not stop him, instead just simply watched from across the street as the other with the bowtie re-entered the block of flats and disappeared from sight. Why was this weird man in the shadows spying on John Smith so intently? Because this man thought that he'd stolen something that was his.

And this man was very protective of his children.

This man knew all of the secrets of the mysterious woman and the uncertainty that she was bearing. For he knew of something that she did not; that the infant in that flat did not have the Doctor's blood.

As it was this fellow standing upon the streets on a dark, cold, drizzly eve, that shared the blood of the small child. Only his was boiling at the maddening anger he possessed.

He'd lost a lover, he'd lost his kid and what he thought was that the Doctor had taken them away from him. But the man in the shadows had a plan himself, but his was a plan that worked from within. So he stayed back and he observed, as he knew their every twist and turn. He waited as the plot progressed and got what he wanted in the way he knew best.

He knew how to make the Doctor fall,

For he was the Master, of them all.


	11. Far From Perfect

***A/N**: HEY EVERYBODY! Firstly, I'm so so sorry for the slow update. 9 days is totally unacceptable and I'm very sorry about that. I started back at school last week and I've been up to my eyes in coursework, so much so writing has had to take a step back in priority whilst I've been sorting out some really important stuff.

Anyway, I'd like to say** ohmygod 200 reviews!** I logged onto FFN as soon as I got back from school today and was amazed at the number, you guys are so kind! As I've reached my 2nd hundred, I'm going to do my quick hundred-reviews-shoutout to all the lovely people on FFN and tumblr who reviewed, so thanks to: Guest, runyoucleverboy-remember, Pondlife, guest, RoseOswinPond, AmberJade777, Chasingthestars123, copiesofclara (wow, thankyou for reviewing each chapter, that's very kind) ems, Jamie, Whoflay, Kosovaheartland, RoseTyler, superwholockian, Guest, Dohistuo, OswinSmith, WholockianChick, Donna, Justine, Whoffle pop, souffez and Snogbox.

So, chapter 11...yes, this is a bit of a Clara lite chapter. It's Doctor POV, but Clara is in one scene. However, Clara will be back in the next chapter! And I think you'll like chapter 12;)... A lot. Maybe. This chapter is essential to the plot. It's one of the big ones. This is more of an action chapter then a relationship chapter, but there will be more of those to come ;)

There are a few mysteries lurking in this chapter, some easier to find than others. Read carefully ;) And expect a lot of dramatic irony in this chapter (if you don't know what I'm talking about reread the last part of chapter 10)

This took me longer then expected to write. I kept changing my mind on how to write bits of it, but I got there in the end. So please enjoy, my lovely patient readers and please leave some of your amazing reviews with comments/theories.

I think that's all, happy reading, the next chapter will be on a.s.a.p,

allonsy! _(did that rhyme?)_

* * *

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 11: Far From Perfect**

The next week and a half passed quite quickly and before the Doctor knew it, it was Christmas. They'd been so busy with office party reservations at the Restaurant that week the Doctor hadn't thought about much else. It had become a routine of getting up in the morning, feeding Luna (The Doctor noticed River was still rather found of lie-ins), getting into work on time, working until his hands and feet were sore before staggering home, making himself and Luna dinner, then passing out on his bed.

The Doctor tried to stay out of River's way as much as possible. He made sure he left before she woke up, ate dinner at a different time and went to bed earlier than usual so he didn't have to spend excess time with her. However, the Doctor still hated the feeling of having River in his home. She was that irritating itch, which even though he tried his hardest to ignore he just couldn't. She always seemed to be lurking around him and every single thing she did appeared to annoy him.

The Doctor actually decided he preferred Luna over her only a day in, even though she did seem to have a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and screaming at the top of her lungs. There was something about having a toddler in the flat which made the place almost appear brighter, if not messier, than it was before.

The Doctor knew that the DNA results weren't expected to arrive until around New Year's; therefore due to his busy state the thought of them for the meantime was shoved to the back of his mind. To his surprise, River hadn't even brought up the DNA test to him. Not that they'd spent much time in each other's company…but he couldn't help but feel suspicious to as why she'd never asked him about it. It had been one of the conditions for her staying with him in the first place.

Nevertheless, the Doctor continued on through the busy week until he got to Christmas day. He and Clara hadn't exchanged many words since he'd explained to her about the baby. He could tell that she was continuing to deliberately ignore him at work and even though he didn't blame her, every time she did it felt like a stab to his heart.

He'd found out from Amy that Clara and Adam had gone on a few more dates since their first to the nightclub, but hadn't become an official item yet. Despite this, the Doctor still felt incredibly jealous every time he saw them flirting together at work. He found he had to resist the urge to breakdown and cry because he was watching the woman he loved with another man.

And it was killing him.

Life to the Doctor was beginning to feel a lot less enjoyable then it had been in the weeks prior. He no longer had his precious Clara which he longed to be with so much, he had his ghastly ex living under the same roof and he didn't appear to be such an important aspect to Amy and Rory's lives anymore. Ever since they had become a couple, the Doctor noticed they spent all of their time hanging out with each other and didn't seem as interested in hanging around with him.

On top of this the Doctor had other problem's going on at home. What he could only assume were a group of youths had slashed the tyres on his car one night. The electricity kept cutting out only in his apartment, the drains kept blocking and the central heating kept going from freezing temperatures to boiling ones, causing the Doctor to become even more stressed. _Luck just wasn't on his side at the moment. _He decided. But things couldn't get much worse, could they?

Because of all these things, the Doctor ended up feeling that the only important part of his life at that time was looking after Luna when her Mother didn't appear to have the energy to do so. Even though he knew that there was a possibility this child wasn't his, he began to treasure the parts of his hectic day where he could just play with her on the rug whilst River had a nap, or spoon feed Luna her dinner. He hated to admit it to himself, but in such a short space of time he began to feel attached to this child. Luna appeared to be the only person who showed any love towards the Doctor at that point. She'd always giggle when she saw him and constantly wanted hugs…and even though the Doctor knew this was normal behaviour for a toddler with any adult, it still brightened up his day and made him feel a lot less lonely.

His extreme loneliness was due to a lack of love. The Doctor was giving so much of his love to Clara that he felt as if his heart was going to burst, because no matter how much love he felt for her she wasn't returning it in anyway. However, this wasn't because she was being cruel, it was because she was protecting herself from getting hurt again. But to the Doctor it didn't matter if she refused to return it, he was going to try his best to win her back anyway.

So a few days before Christmas, the Doctor had asked Clara to come to his for Christmas day. He was having Amy and Rory round to spend the day with him, Luna and River. The Doctor hoped this would make it slightly more enjoyable for him, so he didn't have to spend so much time talking to River on his own. The Doctor knew Clara probably say no, seeing as River and Luna were going to be there, but he couldn't help but try anything to get her back in his life.

He'd approached her a little sheepishly whilst she was talking a coffee break on her own in the staff room at work. "Clara?"

She looked up from her coffee to him in surprise. "What is it?"

The reply appeared a little rude, but the Doctor had ignored it and carried on nervously. "It was just…I thought I'd ask you if you wanted to come over to mine on Christmas day. I mean Amy and Rory are coming so-"

Clara cut in sharply. "Is your ex and the baby gonna be there?"

Her tone was cold and she sounded somewhat irritated at the invitation. "Well, yes…but-"

"I'm busy. I'm going back to the Maitland's for Christmas this year as I can't afford to go up to Lancashire to see my Dad, then I'm going to Adam's party in the evening. Sorry."

But she didn't sound the slightest bit sorry as she rinsed out her coffee mug at the sink, before leaving the room briskly and ignoring him for the rest of the day.

She didn't want to do that. Clara would have loved to have spent Christmas with the Doctor if River wasn't around, but getting her heart broken wasn't something she was willing to risk doing again.

-x-

The Doctor had tried to enjoy Christmas day, but he spent the whole time thinking about Clara.

He was jealous that Adam was getting to see Clara instead of him. If life was perfect right now, he'd be sat on his sofa by the fire curled up with Clara, exchanging Christmas presents and watching Christmas specials on the TV.

But life was far from perfect.

The Doctor had ended up being thankful he'd invited Amy and Rory, as Christmas day had ended up being a total nightmare. The electricity and central heating appeared to be on the blink again, turning off and on again every few minutes which meant the Turkey was taking much longer than it should have done to cook in his oven.

Luna was also teething still which meant she spent the whole day crying, causing River to keep losing her temper. This meant they exchanged presents but didn't have lunch until 5pm and even by then the meal was still undercooked. However, after he'd opened a bottle of wine and everyone had filled their empty tummies, they became a lot less stressed out and all gathered in front of the TV, making casual conversation.

Amy and Rory ended up going back to Amy's at 9, leaving the Doctor to clear up the flat. They told him that they'd had a nice day despite everything and they should try and meet up more out of work again after New Year's. The Doctor agreed that would be nice.

Once they were gone, River tried to help the Doctor clean the kitchen as Luna had gone to bed.

"Anything I can do to help?" She offered, watching the Doctor wash the dishes at the sink.

"I'm fine, thanks. You can go to bed if you want." He replied, trying to dismiss her so he could be alone with his thoughts…mostly of Clara.

"No, I want to help, please?"

The Doctor sighed and finished cleaning the dishes. "It's fine, I'm done now anyway."

"Oh." River replied as she followed him back into the living room. "Do you want to watch some more TV?"

The Doctor turned round to face her. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed."

"Don't you want to spend some time together?" River pleaded, causing the Doctor to frown.

"No…not really."

"Why not?!" She replied irritably, crossing her arms.

The Doctor groaned. He knew what River was doing. She was trying to get them closer so she could get back together with him again, but he knew that that was definitely not happening. "Because River, I despise you even living here, so spending any more time with you is not the slightest bit enjoyable for me!"

River glared at him in hurt and anger. "That can't be true."

"Why not?"

"Because if that were true, you would have ordered a DNA test already, but you haven't. Which means you secretly like me being here. I knew it."

The Doctor inwardly smiled to himself. _She had no idea about the DNA test; it was all going to plan. _"I just forgot about it." He lied. "But thank you for reminding me, I'll order one tomorrow."

River shook her head. "You're lying, I know you want to get back together with me Doctor."

The Doctor took a step back anxiously. "Um…I really don't."

"Yes, you do!"

And before the Doctor knew it River was reaching up, trying to kiss him. But he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back before she could. "River, for god's sake, I've told you this so many times…I'm never getting back together with you. I'd rather _die_ than get back together with you and I will never love you again, do you understand? No matter how hard you try this will _never _happen and the sooner you understand that, the better."

He suddenly realised he'd been shouting in her face and her eyes became watery as she started to cry. She then turned, ran back to her room and slammed the door, causing Luna to wake up and wail again. The Doctor buried his head in his hands and groaned once more. He knew he should probably feel bad for being so harsh to River just then, but in his mind it was justified. Anything he could do to hurt her could never be as bad as what she did to hurt him. She got everything she deserved.

The Doctor realised then that having River in his flat was beginning to make him become dark and hostile. Ever since she arrived things kept going wrong and he was becoming much angrier then he used to be. He knew she needed to leave as quickly as possible, but he still needed to know the results of the DNA test before he let Luna go.

So he waited. _One_ _more week._ He told himself. _Only one more week until the DNA results come._ _Then you'll get all the answers you need._

He hoped that maybe then things would start to get better again.

_Maybe_.

-x-

Another week passed and the Doctor began to get worried as to why the results still hadn't arrived. It was the morning of New Year's Eve and Vastra had closed the Restaurant for a few days whilst she and Jenny took a mini break to Scotland with Strax, so the staff had a few days off too.

Amy and Rory had invited the Doctor out with them that evening, but he'd declined as he felt as if he'd be too much of a third wheel on a night such as New Year's Eve. And besides, Amy would probably attempt to hook him up with another girl to try and get him over Clara…and he really didn't want to be over her just yet.

So on his day off, the Doctor got up slightly later than usual and began to feed Luna her breakfast, whilst River was out getting some more milk. She finally returned 15 minutes after she left with a new carton and a newspaper, slamming the door shut after she re-entered the flat as she'd been doing every day the past week to get his attention.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes, it is." River replied, banging the milk down next to the Doctor on the table to emphasise this. "And why are you always running out of bloody milk?" She muttered, before wandering over to the sofa and lying down to read her newspaper.

"I like to make soufflés."

River scoffed. "Since when have you liked making soufflés?"

"Since recently." He shot back, picking up the carton pouring himself a small glass.

She huffed and gave him and evil glare, triggering the Doctor into giving in. "Look, River, I'm sorry for shouting in your face last week. It was uncalled for, but I needed to get the message into your head that this was never going to happen."

"I know."

"You do?" He questioned, rather surprised at her change in attitude.

"Yes, I had too much to drink and I didn't mean it. I don't care."

The Doctor was going to argue, but had a feeling she was trying to cover her tracks in embarrassment so decided to leave it. "Okay."

"I'm taking Luna to the park this afternoon and then I might go clothes shopping for her; she's outgrown a lot of her old stuff. I don't suppose you want to come?" She murmured whilst continuing to read an article in the paper.

The Doctor swallowed. He didn't much like the idea of a family outing with River, plus if Clara was out and saw them she would get completely the wrong idea. "Urm, no thanks."

"Thought not."

The pair both went back to ignoring each other like usual, but then suddenly River broke the silence. "Oh yeah and I meant to say, your nutty neighbour has been wittering on at me about her plumbing again. She asked if you could go and have a look at it for her, seeing as you managed to fix the problem we were having the other week."

"Mrs Gillyflower isn't nutty, she's just old." The Doctor sighed. "What's the problem, is it the toilet or a tap or…?"

River shrugged, eyes still glued to the newspaper. "Can't remember…and trust me, that's debatable."

The Doctor got up from the table and cleared his and Luna's breakfast before locating his toolbox. "Then I'll go now and see what the problem is whilst you take Luna to the park. I'm sure my sonic screwdriver will be able to fix it, it always does."

He turned on his heel to leave the apartment but heard River call. "It's not sonic; it's just a plain old screwdriver."

"Yes, but one that glows in the dark, that's pretty cool."

"No, it's really not."

-x-

The Doctor knocked on the door to Mrs Gillyflower's apartment, the one next to his and was shortly greeted by the elderly woman who was wearing her usual posh attire. "Oh, Doctor, thank you for stopping by. The tap in the bathroom was playing up and I bumped into your wife earlier who told me you'd be able to fix it."

She led the way into the flat and the Doctor followed after her, shutting the door behind him. "Don't worry, it's no trouble…and River isn't my wife, nor my girlfriend. She's just staying in my spare room, we're not together."

The Doctor glanced around Gillyflower's dark living room, taking in the old Victorian style furniture and how smoky it appeared to be in here. However, he thought it might seem a bit rude to question that so continued following her into the bathroom.

"But you have a child, yes?" Gillyflower queried.

"Yes, well, maybe. I'm not sure." The Doctor answered, earning a puzzled look.

"Oh right…I see." She replied politely. The Doctor knew this situation sounded bonkers to everybody he'd told it to so far, which is another reason why he hoped the DNA test would come as soon as possible. He decided then he would go down to check his mailbox as soon as he was done here fixing Gillyflower's tap, just in case it had arrived this morning.

Gillyflower gestured towards her bathroom sink and the Doctor knelt on the floor placing his toolbox beside him before opening up the underneath to look at the piping. She turned on and off the tap to show him the problem and he nodded understandably. "I see what's wrong, a few pipes have come loose. Easy job, I'll have it done in about 20 minutes." He smiled as he began to work.

"Would you like anything to drink whilst you're working, dear? Cup of tea?" Gillyflower offered kindly.

"Um…" The Doctor was about to decline, but realised the thick, dry air of her smoky apartment was making his mouth quite dry. "Yes please, if you don't mind."

"Milk or sugar?"

"A little milk, eleven sugars." He replied whilst retrieving his 'sonic' screwdriver from his toolbox.

"Eleven?" Gillyflower replied with a chuckle, making her way to her kitchen. "If you take that much sugar you'll have lost all your teeth by the time you're my age young man!"

She briskly made him his tea which he drunk and after a good 20 minutes the Doctor had got the tap working again. "Good as new." He exclaimed, rather proud of his handy work.

Gillyflower then thanked him, he said goodbye and left her flat. The Doctor dropped his toolbox back at his place to see River and Luna had left for the day, before going downstairs to check his mailbox.

However, when he got to the mailroom of his apartment block, the Doctor was shocked to see that someone had appeared to have forced the door of his box open without using a key, leaving it ajar. He frowned and peered inside, collecting the remaining contents of bills and advertisements.

_That's weird. _He thought. _Why would someone want to break into my mailbox?_

And then he remembered River. She'd had two chances to do this this morning; she could have wanted to take the DNA results before he got his hands on them… But why would she break into the mailbox and then leave it ajar? River's cleverer then that, she would have stolen his keys and got her way in that way, surely? Plus, for all she knew he only ordered the DNA test a week ago and the results couldn't have come back that fast…this didn't make sense.

The Doctor brushed off the weird feeling for now and assumed it must be River, who else would want to spy into his mail? He furiously stormed back upstairs to his flat, deciding he'd confront River about everything as soon as she came home and demand she gave him the DNA results or else he'd kick her and Luna out immediately.

He began to pace up and down his apartment thinking about what he should do, when he was suddenly hit by a feeling of light headedness and a sharp pain in his temple. The Doctor put it down to lack of sleep due to Luna's teething screams, so went to the kitchen and took a painkiller to soothe his progressing headache.

After a bit of thought, the Doctor decided he should call Amy and discuss with her what he should do about his mailbox break in. He grabbed his phone which was lying on the dining table but on the way lost his balance and stumbled out of the blue which made his headache worsen.

Nevertheless, the Doctor finally rang Amy up and informed her what was happening, so she agreed she'd be over there as soon as she could.

"I'm out doing a supermarket shop at the moment, I'll be there in about half an hour, is there anything you need while I'm here?" She asked from the other end of the line.

"I don't think so." He replied, wincing as his headache turned into an agonising migraine. "Thanks Amy, I don't know what to do."

"I'll call Rory too." She decided. "And Doctor?"

"Mm?"

"Are you alright? You sound as if you're in pain…"

"No, no I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache, it'll pass." He lied.

"Mm…okay. See you in a mo." Amy said uncertainly before hanging up the phone.

The Doctor placed his mobile back on the table but found himself stumbling again, this time grabbing onto a chair for support but failed, falling to the floor. He moaned in pain, his head now pounding and his vision hazy. He tried to pull himself up but found no strength and he felt extremely dizzy and disorientated.

The Doctor had no idea what was happening to him, he felt as if his mind was blanking out and his bones felt as heavy as stone. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear; all his senses had been paralyzed.

Then slowly the rest of him slipped away into unconsciousness…and he was gone.


	12. Something Psycological

***A/N: Hello all of my beautiful readers. I am finally, after a very long hiatus, back with chapter 12 of Waiting For You! I've had lots of things going on at the moment so it's been really hard to write, but thank you to everyone who sent me lovely PM's motivating me to get this chapter on for you today. Also thank you so so so much for all of the reviews I got for chapter 11! Chapter 11 was actually the most popular chapter since chapter 1 (according to my traffic stats) so wow, that's absolutely amazing. All the reviews have been so supportive and I really can't thank you all enough. **

**Plot wise there's been a bit of a change because I've had to split this chapter in half. I was going to make it longer but then I realised that would be far too long as one chapter and it would be a lot better as two separate ones. This means Clara will be back in the next chapter, not this one. This chapter does clear a lot of stuff up, but I've also dropped some very very subtle hints of what's to come in a few chapters time ;)**

**I also may be slow updating after this, but not as slow as I was getting this chapter up. Your support seriously improves my motivation, so all reviews are greatly appreciated. **

**I think that's all, enjoy my lovelies and thank you for being so patient and not abandoning this fic! Happy reading :)* **

* * *

**Waiting For You**

**Chapter 12: Something Psycological**

All he could remember was that everything had felt dark and heavy.

As he began to regain consciousness, the Doctor was overwhelmed by the weight at which his limbs appeared to feel. He didn't understand what was happening at first, he'd completely forgotten where he was. All he could see was black as he awoke, which he then realised was because his eyelids felt too heavy to prise open.

The Doctor let out a loud groan as feeling began to reawaken though the rest of his body. He instinctively tried to sit up but felt far too achy still, so remained lying on the cold floor. All he could think and understand at that point was that there were vast amounts of pain coming from two areas of his body. The most prominent was his head, which felt foggy and unresponsive as he was still having problems recollecting what had happened. The other pain he could sense was one that was sharp and felt as if it was digging into the side of his wrist.

The Doctor's eyelids slowly began to feel lighter along with the rest of his body, so he slowly opened them with a flutter to his brightly lit apartment. He tried to sit up again as his eyes adjusted to the light, but as soon as he did he felt a sharp tug on his wrist. It took a moment for the Doctor to realise the reason he was getting this sensation in his right arm was because it was in fact, _handcuffed_, to the radiator under the window ledge of his living room.

The Doctor's eyes finally adjusted to properly look at his wrist. He began to panic. _What the hell was happening? Why was he handcuffed to a radiator in his flat? _He remembered falling on the floor in his dining room, but now he'd reawakened in a completely different place. The Doctor quickly tried to pull at the cuff fiercely to break free, but the metal was strong and the cuff was incredibly tight.

"Try and break free all you want; you won't be able to escape."

The Doctor froze as soon as he heard the familiar voice from behind him. He continued to stare at the radiator on the wall in front of him in disbelief, not wanting to turn round and face the menace before him. _It couldn't be…_

"Master?" The Doctor growled, his throat sore and coarse.

He heard footsteps draw closer towards him and as soon as the Doctor felt his presence directly behind him, he finally turned around. The man was stood in front of him with his arms crossed, an evil smirk across his face.

The Doctor shook his head and frowned. "What the hell are you doing in my apartment?!" He gestured towards his right arm. "And what sort of sick joke is this?"

"The same sort of 'sick joke' you've been playing on me for weeks!" The Master yelled back.

The Doctor rubbed his temple with his free hand in confusion. "What are you talking abo-"

But before he could finish his sentence, the Master gave the side of his torso a hard, sharp kick, to which the Doctor responded to with a gasp. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He cried with agony, stunned by the Master's strange behaviour.

"Wrong with me? I think you know why I'm here!" The Master spat, as the Doctor stroked his now tender side.

The Doctor's brow furrowed again. "I have no idea what you're talking about! How did I pass out…and why am I handcuffed to my radiator?!"

The Master crotched down to the floor so he was at eye level with the Doctor, and much to his annoyance wore another sly smirk. "Because we have a bit of negotiating to do."

"What?"

"You're going to give me back what's rightfully mine and if you don't…well, you'll stay hand-cuffed to this radiator until you do."

The Doctor sat further into an upright position in disbelief, still completely confused to what was going on. "You're completely mad. Absolutely, utterly mad. You can't just break into my flat and lock me up! I have no idea what you're talking about… I'm warning you, Master, unlock me from here right now!" He tried to yank at the metal chain once again, but as before it was still too strong to break.

The Master moved his face closer to the Doctor's intimidatingly, eyes narrowing to pierce straight into his. "Or you'll do what?"

The Doctor was silent for a moment. He didn't know how to respond to that. To be truthful, he hadn't predicted the Master asking that question. The Doctor just stared back still, trying to think of what he could do to break away from this bizarre situation. But of course, he could think of nothing.

The Master saw the flicker in the Doctor's eyes which indicated he'd admitted defeat, so rose to his feet with a sneer. He began to pace across the room in front of the Doctor, who didn't take his eyes off of him for a second. They stayed in silence momentarily as the Doctor thought of his next question. "I don't understand, what exactly is it you want from _me_?"

The Master stood still and turned to face him again, hands held behind his back. "Play the fool all you want Doctor, but I always get my way."

"I don't understand-"

"River and Luna." The Master interrupted sharply. The mention of his potential daughter brought the Doctor to full attention. "My whole life Doctor. Those two were my whole life and you stole them from me to be your own. You've taken my love and my daughter and I will not be leaving until I get them back. Is that understood?"

_My daughter. _The words stung the Doctor unexpectedly, causing him to swallow to clear the sudden lump that appeared in his throat. He tried to ignore these thoughts, temporarily avoiding the subject. "I've stolen your love?" The Doctor smirked. "I guess how you know how I felt 2 years ago on the worst day of my life. You're the one that does the stealing Master, not me."

The Doctor glared at him so intensely that the Master couldn't look him in the eye. It was a slither of guilt that was stopping him. The only slither of emotion left that the Doctor was sure wasn't corrupt of pure evil. He and The Master had always been arch enemies when they were school kids, but it didn't seem to have been a relationship they grew out of as they matured. 9 years since high school and the hatred had dramatically worsened. All the Doctor could believe was that it was the Master's entire fault. He was the one who'd done wrong. After years of fighting as teenagers and young adults, the Doctor was sure two things. He and the Master would never get on…and the Master would do absolutely anything to hurt him.

The Doctor carried on watching the Master as he paced across the room. He could see the Master's fists clenching and his jaw becoming tight. He knew he was becoming angry…and the Doctor couldn't help but feel a little anxious. This man had just found some way of drugging him, the Doctor presumed, breaking into his flat and cuffing him to a radiator. This is not normal behaviour by anyone's standards, and if the Master is mad and upset about breaking up with River…god knows what he could do.

Worriedly, the Doctor tried to pull at his handcuff again, desperate for escape, but it was still far too strong for him to break. The Master suddenly spun around to face the Doctor, his face slowly turning a bright shade of crimson. He advanced towards the Doctor slowly, teeth gritted. "It was always you, wasn't it?"

The Doctor bit his lip nervously and pushed himself back against the radiator, as far away from the Master as he could get. "What?"

"River always loved you. I spent years chasing her in high school. I would've done anything for her to be mine. _Anything._" The Doctor listened as the Master's voice got louder and rougher. "But you, she was always the one chasing after _you_. I hated you so much because of that. I was in love with her and _you_ took her away from me."

The Doctor shook his head. The Master was mad, the Doctor concluded. He was absolutely barking mad. Was this the effect River had left on him? Turned him completely crazy? "She was never yours." The Doctor said simply, his voice containing rage but in the calmest possible way. "She was mine, you should have just accepted that."

"But I could tell she loved me_ too_! Couldn't you see that?!" The Master shouted, his voice almost pleading, as if he was trying to convince the Doctor that statement was true. He frowned in response, a little surprised by the outburst. The Master wasn't just acting a bit crazy; this was almost something…psychological, which the Doctor hadn't picked up on before when they were younger. Maybe he was just too naïve to see it, but the Master's state of mind seemed extremely disturbed, almost frighteningly twisted.

"I don't-"

"When I heard you'd proposed to her I decided to do anything I could to make sure you were never wed. I won her over in the end. I offered her something she just couldn't refuse."

The Doctor studied the Master curiously, but didn't say a word.

"Well? Aren't you going to ask what that was?" The Master queried. To the Doctor's relief, his face was going back to a more normal colour and his hands appeared less tense.

The Doctor just blinked at him silently, which earned an eye roll from the Master. "Everything, I offered her everything she ever wanted. To move away from dirty London to the spectacular United States...with all the clothes, jewellery and luxuries she desired."

"Then why did she leave you?" The Doctor spat suddenly, much to the Master's satisfaction.

However, his pleasure soon turned to fury once more. "She told me she was still in love with you. But you're not taking her from me again, Doctor. I don't care if you love her, she's mine…and if you think you can take my daughter from me too, then you've got another thing coming."

_My daughter. _The Doctor shook his head again. It had become obvious that River's greed had influenced her on running away with the Master on their wedding day. She'd lead him on, she'd made everything mentally worse for him then it already had been. But the Master was her problem now, not his. He just wanted to get on with his life. "I don't want River. I don't love her anymore and I haven't for a very long time."

The Master scoffed in disbelief. "I'm not falling for that."

"I'm telling the truth." The Doctor paused. "I'm in love with someone else."

The Master raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You have a girlfriend?"

The Doctor's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed pink.

"Oh, you want her to be your girlfriend." The Master chuckled and locked his fingers. "So who is the poor girl?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, in fact it does."

"Clara. Her name is Clara."

"Clara." The Master repeated. "And what does little _Clara_ think of the set up you've got going on here?"

The Doctor hated the way he said her name. It was such a beautiful name for her, so precious, and he hated the way the Master spat it out of his mouth as if it were dirt.

He stayed silent again; tired of the delight the Master was getting from watching his frustration.

"Ohh." The Master realised. "That's the reason you aren't together, isn't it?"

The Doctor didn't reply again, he presumed it was more of a rhetorical question anyway.

"Then tell me this Doctor, if you want to be with your beloved Clara so much, why do you have the ex shacked up with you at home?" His tone was mocking, his face fixed in a grin which the Doctor would have loved more than anything to have wiped straight off with his fist. But he rubbed his head with his free hand instead. He knew the Master already knew the answer to that question. It was all slowly starting to piece together…

"Because Luna might be mine." The words left his lips as a whisper, but not so quiet that the Master couldn't hear.

The Master shook his head and chuckled, somewhat amused at his response. "She really had you fouled, didn't she? And I thought you were supposed to be clever…"

"What?"

"Luna's not yours, Doctor. River was obviously living on the hope that she was to try and win you back, but she's never been yours."

The words stung the Doctor once more, like a hit to his heart with a knife, cutting it in two. Greif was one way to put it. Greif with denial. "But how could you have known, all this time?"

"When River told me at the birth it could either be yours or mine, I told her I'd treat it as if it were my own either way. I said that just to please her because we both know I couldn't live like that. I couldn't go treating a child that was _yours_ as if it were mine. Within weeks I got a DNA test and it came back with the results I wanted. Luna is in fact my baby, which is why I travelled half way across the world to get them back. Because nobody, especially not you, Doctor, is going to take my daughter away from me."

A tear left the Doctor's eye which he didn't even realise had been formed. Why was he crying? This was a good thing right? It meant River could leave his life forever. He could win Clara back and be happy. But he couldn't help but feel as though he'd lost something that had been growing very close to his heart. "I don't believe you…It was you who broke into my mailbox, wasn't it? You've taken the DNA results so you could hide them from me!"

The Master crossed his arms and stood right in front of the Doctor who was now squirming on the floor, pulling fiercely at the metal chain to try and break free. His face had gone red from the strain of pulling at the cuffs, but even though he knew he wasn't strong enough to get away, he tried his hardest anyway. "No, Doctor. I took the DNA results from you so that you couldn't hide them from _me_."

The Master began to retrieve the envelope from the front pocket of his black hooded jacket as the Doctor gawped in disbelief. "How did you even know I'd sent off for a DNA test?"

A devious smile crept on to the Master's lips. "I know everything. For example, didn't your tyres get slashed last week? And haven't you been having some problems with your plumbing and electrics round here?"

"That was you?!" The Doctor growled. "You're the one who has been messing us around?"

"I was just trying to get your attention, I was trying to make Christmas for you and _my_ family as miserable as possible."

The Doctor clenched his fists to try and contain his rage as the Master had done before.

"Wait, you don't know everything. You didn't know about Clara."

The Master chuckled again as he opened the envelope. "Oh, Didn't I?"

The Doctor defensively pushed himself against the radiator again. _Did he know about Clara already? How did he know about anything in the first place?_

However, he didn't have long to ponder, because before he knew it, the Master was shoving a document in his face. The Doctor took it from him and checked for authentication first, before anything else, but the details did all seem to be correct. These were the results he had been waiting for.

The Master began tapping his foot impatiently, urging the Doctor to hurry up and read the results.

He finally did…and for once the Master had told the truth. _The samples taken from Mr John Smith and Miss Luna Song are not a match._

He knew he shouldn't have been shocked. He didn't think he could be shocked by anything River ever did again. It was mostly anger. But he wasn't just angry, he was furious…at River, at the Master, at everything. He'd been made a fool of again. The Doctor promised himself he'd never let River do that again but he'd let her. Despite everything that happened he let her and he hated himself for that. He hated her and he still hated him for ruining his life a few years ago.

The Doctor screwed the results up into a ball and threw the paper at the Master as hard as he could, earning an amused look from the man standing above him.

"Master, this is your last chance, let me go right now!" The Doctor screamed.

The Master laughed again, rocking back and forth on his feet. "We both already know there's nothing you can do."

"I don't understand this game you're playing, but it's sick and it's twisted and I want it to end right now!" He yelled again.

"You know what you have to do to get it to end."

"What?!"

"I want my family back."

The Doctor threw his free arm in the air. "You can have your bloody family back, I don't want them. Just let me go!"

"Where are they then?!" The Master barked back, just as loud.

The Doctor tried to recollect his hazy thoughts. "Um...the park? Shopping?"

The Master began charging towards the front door, leaving the Doctor on the floor still chained to the radiator. "Wait! You're not leaving me here, are you?!"

The Master stopped in the centre of the living room and turned back to face him. "You'll remain there for as long as I wish."

"You're completely insane! You can't leave me locked up in my own home!"

"Just watch me."

The Master turned around to continue his journey to the door, but before he could make it there himself, it swung open to reveal a feisty redhead with a bewildered dirty blonde in tow. In seconds the pair flew through the doorway, the girl taking a hard swing at the Master who then fell with a thud to the ground…with what appeared to be a cricket bat.

It took the Doctor a moment to register what had just happened on the other side of the room. "Amy!"

"Sorry we're a wee bit late…you know what the traffics like."

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***A/N: thanks for reading, reviews greatly appreciated :)***


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